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The 30 women sat in wooden chairs, facing each other in a rectangular formation. At the front of the room was the ruling Communist Party’s hammer and sickle logo, with a sign declaring the meeting’s purpose: “Symposium of unmarried young women of the right age.” |
30名女性面对面坐在木椅上,围成一个长方形。房间正面有执政党中国共产党的锤子镰刀标志,还有一条横幅宣告会议的目的:“适龄未婚女青年座谈会”。 |
Officials in Daijiapu, a town in southeast China, had gathered the women to sign a public pledge to reject high “bride prices,” referring to a wedding custom in which the man gives money to his future wife’s family as a condition of engagement. The local government, describing the event earlier this year in a notice on its website, said it hoped people would abandon such backward customs and do their part to “start a new civilized trend.” |
中国东南部戴家埔乡的官员们召集这些女性签署了一份公开承诺,抵制高价“彩礼”。这是指一种婚礼习俗,男方要向未来妻子的家人付钱,以作为订婚条件。今年早些时候,当地政府在其网站上的一则通知中描述了这件事,并希望人们摒弃这种落后的习俗,为“移风易俗”尽自己的一份力量。 |
As China faces a shrinking population, officials are cracking down on an ancient tradition of betrothal gifts to try to promote marriages, which have been on the decline. Known in Mandarin as caili, the payments have skyrocketed across the country in recent years — averaging $20,000 in some provinces — making marriage increasingly unaffordable. The payments are typically paid by the groom’s parents. |
随着中国面临人口萎缩,官员们正在打击古老的彩礼传统,试图提振不断下滑的结婚率。近年来,全国各地的彩礼费用飙升,在一些省份平均为14万元,这使得人们越来越难以负担结婚的费用。这些费用通常由新郎的父母支付。 |
To curb the practice, local governments have rolled out propaganda campaigns such as the Daijiapu event, instructing unmarried women not to compete with one another in demanding the highest prices. Some town officials have imposed caps on caili or even directly intervened in private negotiations between families. |
为了遏制这种行为,地方政府开展了宣传活动,戴家埔的活动也是其中一例,它们指导未婚女性不要相互攀比着要求最高规格的彩礼。一些乡镇官员对彩礼设置上限,甚至直接干预家庭之间的私下谈判。 |
The tradition has been met with growing public resistance as attitudes have shifted. Among more educated Chinese, particularly in cities, many are likely to see it as a patriarchal relic that treats women as property being sold to another household. In the rural areas where the custom tends to be more common, it has also fallen out of favor among poor farmers who must save several years of income or go into debt to get married. |
随着公众观念的转变,该传统已经遭到了越来越多的抵制。在受教育程度较高的中国人中,尤其是在城市里,许多人可能认为这是一种父权制的遗留,即将女性视为财产,出售给另一个家庭。在农村地区,这种习俗往往更为普遍,然而它在贫穷的农民中也不受欢迎,因为他们必须积攒数年的收入,或者借债才能结婚。 |
Even so, the government’s campaign has drawn criticism as reinforcing sexist stereotypes of women. Chinese media outlets, in describing the problem of rising marriage payments, have often depicted women who seek big sums as being greedy. |
即便如此,政府的宣传活动还是遭到了批评,称其强化了对女性的性别偏见。中国媒体在论及结婚费用上涨的问题时经常称追求高额彩礼的女性贪财。 |
After the Daijiapu event went viral on social media, a flurry of commenters questioned why the burden of solving the problem fell on women. Some commenters urged officials to convene similar meetings for men to teach them how to be more equal partners in marriage. |
戴家埔的活动在社交媒体上疯传后,大量评论人士质疑,为什么解决问题的负担落在了女性身上。一些评论人士敦促官员们为男性召开类似的会议,教他们如何在婚姻中成为更平等的伴侣。 |
In China, “as with most state policies regarding marriage, women are the central target,” said Gonçalo Santos, an anthropology professor who studies rural China at the University of Coimbra, in Portugal. “It’s a paternalistic appeal to women to maintain social order and harmony, to fulfill their roles as wives and mothers.” |
在中国,“就像大多数关于婚姻的国家政策一样,女性是中心目标,”葡萄牙科英布拉大学研究中国农村的人类学教授贡萨洛·桑托斯说。“这是一种家长式的呼吁,要求女性维护社会秩序与和谐,履行自己作为妻子和母亲的角色。” |
By targeting women, official campaigns like the Daijiapu event sidestep the fact that the problem is partly of the government’s own making. During the four decades of the one-child policy, parents often preferred sons, resulting in a lopsided gender ratio that has intensified competition for wives. |
像戴家埔这样以女性为目标的官方活动回避了一个事实——问题在一定程度上是政府自己造成的。在实施独生子女政策的40年里,父母往往更想要儿子,导致性别比例失衡,加剧了对妻子的争夺。 |
The imbalance is most pronounced in rural areas, where there are now 19 million more men than women. Many rural women prefer to marry men in cities to obtain an urban household registration permit, or hukou, which provides access to better schools, housing and health care. |
这种不平衡在农村地区最为明显,那里的男性比女性多1900万。许多农村女性更愿意嫁给城市男性,以获得城市户口,从而获得更好的教育资源、住房和医疗保健。 |
Poorer men in rural areas must pay more to marry because the women’s families want a stronger guarantee that they can provide for their daughters, a move that instead could plunge them deeper into poverty. |
农村地区较贫穷的男性必须支付更多的结婚费用,因为女性的家庭希望他们能够为女儿提供更强有力的保障,而此举可能会让男性家庭陷入更深的贫困。 |
“This has broken many families,” said Yuying Tong, a sociology professor at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. “The parents spend all their money and go financially bankrupt just to find a wife for their son.” |
“这让许多家庭破裂,”香港中文大学社会学教授同钰莹说。“父母花光了所有的钱,甚至破产,就为了给儿子找个老婆。” |
Officials have acknowledged their limited ability to eliminate a custom that many families see as a marker of social status. In rural areas, neighbors may gossip about women who command low prices, questioning whether something is wrong with them, according to researchers who study the custom. |
官员们承认,该习俗被许多家庭视为社会地位的标志,他们移风易俗的能力有限。据研究该习俗的人士称,在农村地区,邻居们可能会对那些要价低的女性说三道四,质疑她们是否有什么问题。 |
The tradition is also linked to entrenched attitudes about the role of women as caregivers in families. In parts of rural China, the payment is still seen as a purchase of the bride’s labor and fertility from her parents, researchers say. Once married, the woman has typically been expected to move in with her husband’s family, get pregnant and be responsible for housework, child raising and the care of her in-laws. |
这一传统也同女性在家庭中扮演照顾者角色这一根深蒂固的观念有关。研究人员说,在中国农村的部分地区,彩礼仍被视为从新娘的父母那里购买新娘的劳动和生育能力。一旦结婚,女性通常会搬到夫家,怀上孩子、负责家务、抚养孩子和照顾公婆。 |
But as the soaring cost of living has exposed gaps in China’s social safety net, securing a high marriage payment can be a way for lower-income families with daughters to build savings for unexpected medical bills or other emergencies. And with parents living longer, some women are demanding higher prices as reimbursement for being the primary caregivers of the older generation, researchers say. |
但是,随着生活成本的飙升暴露出中国社会保障网络的漏洞,对于有女儿的低收入家庭来说,通过婚姻获得一大笔钱可能是一种攒钱的方式,以便应对意外的医疗费用或其他紧急情况。研究人员说,随着父母寿命的延长,一些女性要求支付更高的费用,作为令她们成为老一代主要照顾者的补偿。 |
Sociologists say a more effective way for the government to curb the tradition would be to put more funding toward child care and into health care for seniors. |
社会学家表示,要想遏制这一传统,政府更有效的方法是向儿童保育和老年人的医疗保健投入更多资金。 |
As more young Chinese delay or shun marriage altogether, their parents’ expectations around marriage payments are shifting, said Liu Guoying, 58, a matchmaker in Nanchang, the capital city of Jiangxi Province, which is notorious for bride prices that can exceed $50,000. |
58岁的刘国英(音)是南昌市的一名媒人,她说,随着越来越多的中国年轻人推迟结婚或完全不结婚,父母对彩礼的期望正在发生变化。南昌是江西省省会,该省以彩礼高昂而闻名,有时超过35万元。 |
Parents eager to facilitate a smooth start to the marriage are increasingly passing the payment to the newlyweds as a gift, she said. Some parents so desperately want their daughters to be married, she said, that they are willing to settle for less cash as long as the prospective sons-in-law treats their children well. |
她说,越来越多的父母为了让婚姻有个顺利的开始,会把钱作为礼物送给新婚夫妇。她说,一些父母非常希望自己的女儿能出嫁,只要未来的女婿对自己的孩子好,他们愿意少要点钱。 |
“Pity the hearts of the parents of the world,” Ms. Liu said. |
“可怜天下父母心,”刘国英说。 |
A new generation of women, more educated than their parents, may also be playing a role in changing attitudes around the issue. A 2020 survey of around 2,000 people in China found that highly educated couples were less likely to pay bride prices, believing that loving each other was enough. |
新一代女性受教育程度比父母高,可能也在改变人们对这个问题的态度方面发挥了作用。2020年,中国一项针对约2000人的调查发现,学历越高,送出或收到彩礼的比例越低,他们认为两个人相爱就好。 |
But even for women like Luki Chan, 27, who went to college, an opportunity her mother never had, escaping the pressure of hometown traditions can be difficult. |
但即使对于像27岁的露琪·陈(音)这样上过大学——她的母亲从未有过这样的机会——的女性来说,要摆脱老家习俗的压力也很不容易, |
Ms. Chan grew up in a mountainous region of Fujian, a province in southeast China where marriage payments are often high. Her mother expects to receive at least $14,000 from the groom when Ms. Chan gets married, she said, as repayment for the money she spent on her schooling. |
陈女士在中国东南省份福建的山区长大,那里的彩礼往往很高。她母亲对彩礼的期望值不少于10万,希望能把读书花的钱补回来。 |
Now, Ms. Chan is building her own career in Shanghai as a theater producer and is in the process of registering for marriage documents with her Taiwanese boyfriend. Ms. Chan fears that when her parents find out, their demands for a bride price will ultimately prevail. Ms. Chan rejects the tradition, regarding it as tantamount to being sold. |
现在,陈女士在上海从事戏剧制作人的工作,并且正在与来自台湾的男友办理结婚手续。她担心若是父母知晓这件事,恐怕会坚持索要彩礼。陈女士很反感这样的习俗,感觉这就像自己被卖掉。 |
“When I see the patriarchal system that exploits women, and the misogynistic marriage customs, I am very scared to discuss marriage with my family,” she said. |
“看到重男轻女的制度和婚姻习俗,我很害怕跟家里人讲我结婚的事,”她说。 |
Officials see the lavish payments as an urgent problem that could hinder economic development and trigger social instability. |
官员们认为,高额彩礼是一个紧迫的问题,可能会阻碍经济发展,并引发社会的不稳定。 |
Across the country, cities are trying to popularize the idea of getting engaged without exchanging money. This month, local officials in Nanchang hosted a free mass wedding for 100 couples who got married simultaneously inside a huge sports stadium, touting the slogan “We Want Happiness, Not Bride Price.” |
中国各地的城市都在努力推广不收彩礼的理念。本月,南昌的地方官员在一个巨大的体育场为百对新人举办了一场免费的集体婚礼,宣传口号是“不要彩礼要幸福”。 |
The couples wore red and gold traditional Chinese wedding outfits, performing the ceremony in a synchronized choreography. Their relatives watched from the bleachers, with local government officials getting the prime seats. |
新人们穿着红色和金色的中国传统婚礼服装,同时举行结婚仪式。他们的亲属坐在看台上,政府官员则占据着主宾位置。 |
But in a sign of how much the custom still persists, dozens of residents across China in the past year have complained to local officials in online message boards about exorbitant marriage payments. |
在过去一年里,有数十名民众在政府的网络留言板上抱怨高价彩礼的问题,可见这样的习俗在民间仍然盛行。 |
In one post last summer, a resident said he was “begging” his local government to regulate marriage payments in his rural village of Baixiang in southwest China, where many farmers live in poverty. |
在去年夏天的一个帖子里,来自西南部柏香村的民众留言,“恳求”当地政府整治彩礼问题。当地有许多农民生活在贫困中。 |
Three weeks later, county officials replied that they had sent a team of investigators to interrogate the resident’s girlfriend at her home. She told investigators that her parents agreed to marry her off for about $40,000 and refused her pleas to lower the price. The boyfriend’s family had paid only half of it so far. |
三周后,县里的官员回复,他们已经派了调查组到该居民的女朋友家里进行调查了解。她告诉调查人员,她的父母约定的聘金约30万元,并拒绝了她不要收那么高彩礼的请求。到目前为止,男方仅付了一半的钱。 |
After “great efforts on all sides,” officials said, the girlfriend’s father agreed to a payment of about $9,000 and returned the rest to the boyfriend’s family. The refund took place at the local Communist Party bureau, with party officials as witnesses. |
官员们说,通过“多方努力”,女友的父亲同意收7万元,退还超出部分。退还彩礼是在当地党支部进行的,有党官员在一旁见证。 |
The officials concluded their report with a message for the couple: “Wishing you a happy life!” |
官方在回复的最后祝福这对夫妇:“祝您生活愉快!” |
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