| 双语新闻 Bilingual News | 双语对照阅读 分级系列阅读 智能辅助阅读 在线英语学习 |
|
| 双语新闻 Bilingual News | 双语对照阅读 分级系列阅读 智能辅助阅读 在线英语学习 |
| [英文] [中文] [双语对照] [双语交替] [] |
| During the two months of lockdown last spring in Shanghai, residents were mostly confined to their homes and hallways. For a single woman like me who, at 29, lives alone and is self-employed, my entire life was reduced to me, myself and I. |
| 今天春天上海封城的两个月里，大多数居民都不得离开楼门。对于我这样一个29岁的单身女性，独居而且是自由职业，如此一来整个生活就剩下自己了。 |
| Many foods became unavailable during this time; people were anxious, isolated and bored. Coke, cake and chocolate became rare luxuries. You could trade for almost anything with a can of soda, and the taste of chocolate could send you to nirvana. Bartering and group purchasing became the new normal, along with five-minute “dates” behind face masks near the PCR test booth, which was one of the few places outside of our apartments we were allowed to go. |
| 在那段时间里，许多食物都弄不到了；人们感到焦虑、孤立和无聊。可乐、蛋糕和巧克力成为了稀有的奢侈品。你几乎可以用一罐汽水换取任何东西，巧克力的味道能让你上天堂。以物易物和团购成为新常态，还有趁着做核酸的机会，戴着口罩在一旁进行五分钟的“约会”。做核酸的地方是我们出门后可以去的少数几个地方之一。 |
| Naturally, everyone was excited when our building finally got the chance to order burgers and Coke from a local fast-food place. However, when I asked the hundreds of members of our building’s WeChat group — hastily created during lockdown — if anyone wanted to help with the delivery, the silence lasted for 10 minutes. Then my phone lit up with a message from a man I didn’t know: “I’d be happy to help.” |
| 当我们楼终于有机会从附近一家快餐店下单买汉堡和可乐时，大家自然都很兴奋。然而，当我问我们楼微信群（封城期间匆忙建立的）里的数百名成员，是否有人愿意帮忙送货时，群里10分钟没人说话。后来，我的手机收到了一个陌生男人发来的信息：“我很乐意帮忙。” |
| After our initial chitchat about burgers, he wrote, “How do you keep yourself busy?” |
| 在聊完汉堡之后，他写道：“你是怎么打发时间的？” |
| “I’m learning French,” I replied. |
| “我在学法语，”我回复道。 |
| In perfect French, he replied, “You can practice with me.” |
| 他用纯正的法语回答：“你可以跟我练法语。” |
| And, voilà, it turned out he’d come from France, which actually isn’t so unusual here; our high-rise complex has many foreign residents. |
| 哟，原来他来自法国。在上海，这种事情还挺常见的；我们住的这栋高层公寓楼里，就住着不少外国人。 |
| When the food arrived, I had six volunteers, including myself, to help distribute the bags around the building. Everyone said a casual “hi” when they came downstairs, but there was no “hi” from him — only a half-second pause in his footsteps. As my eyes met his, a little voice in my head said something was going to happen between us. |
| 食物送来后，包括我在内，有六个志愿者帮忙分发食物。下楼的时候，每个人都随口说了声“hi”，但他没有——只有脚步半秒的停顿。当我跟他的目光相遇时，我脑海中的一个小声音说道，我们之间会发生什么。 |
| I divided us into three groups of two and asked him to pair with my friend. Each group was responsible for seven floors. My group was the last to finish. And he was the only one who offered to help after he finished with his floors. |
| 我把大家分成三组，每组两个人，让他和我的朋友一组。每组负责七层楼。我们组是最后一个完成的。他是唯一一个在完成他负责的楼层后主动提出帮忙的。 |
| “Will you say something in French to me?” he said. “I want to check your pronunciation.” |
| “你能用法语对我说点什么吗？”他说。“我想听听你的发音。” |
| “Je ne comprend pas,” I said. (“I don’t understand.”) |
| “Je ne comprend pas（我听不懂），”我说到。 |
| He laughed, then said, “Pas mal.” (“Not bad.”) |
| 他笑了，说道，“Pas mal（还行）。” |
| When I finally returned to my apartment, my phone lit up with a message from him: “Enchanté! You have good pronunciation, btw.” |
| 终于忙完回到家，我的手机收到了一条他发来的信息：“Enchanté（幸会）！顺便说一句，你的发音很不错。” |
| Over the following two weeks, our relationship progressed from chatting every three days to chatting every day, and we even took a walk together with another neighbor. Lockdown really puts you back in high school, I guess. |
| 在接下来的两周里，我们的关系从隔几天聊一次发展到了每天都会聊天，甚至还和另一个邻居一起散了一次步。我想，封控真的会让你回到高中时代。 |
| One day, when I commented, “Oh, pretty,” after seeing the picture of a fox he had sent, he replied, “You’re pretty.” |
| 有一天，看到他发来的一只狐狸的照片，我说：“哎呀，真漂亮。”他回答说：“你才漂亮。” |
| “Technically,” I said, “you’ve only seen half of my face.” |
| “严格来说，”我说，“你只见过我半张脸。” |
| “Haha, true. Longing for the day.” |
| “哈哈，没错。期待那一天的到来。” |
| That day arrived the next morning, when one of our neighbors had her packages stolen and wanted to check the security footage and catch the thief. However, she doesn’t speak Chinese, so I volunteered to help. We spent seven hours playing detective, and he joined us after learning I was there. |
| 这一天在第二天早上到来了，一个邻居的包裹被偷了，她想调取监控录像，找到小偷。但是，她不会说中文，于是我主动提出帮忙。我们当了七个小时的侦探，他得知我在那里后也加入了我们。 |
| The first time I removed my mask to take a sip of water, he said, “I saw that.” |
| 我第一次摘下口罩喝水的时候，他说，“我看到了。” |
| I turned around and saw his smiling eyes. No, we didn’t kiss. Not yet. |
| 我转过身来，看到他眼带笑意。不，我们没有接吻。还没到时候。 |
| When we had our first face-to-face conversation under the moonlight, I asked him to tell me his life story. Being an artist, he got to move from country to country. He was always on the run, exploring the world. Which, I was sad to learn, was about to resume: He told me he was leaving China for good in five months. |
| 当我们在月光下有了第一次面对面交流，我请他给我讲了自己的人生经历。作为一名艺术家，他得以去许多国家生活。他总是在四处奔波，探索世界。而让我感到难过的是，他即将恢复这样的生活方式：他说自己将在五个月后永远离开中国。 |
| “Don’t get attached,” said the voice in my head. “Just be friends.” |
| “不要动感情，”我脑海中的声音说道。“做朋友就好。” |
| Later, I told our story to my friends, how he and I met, what a good person he is, and how he made me happy in this or that way. Their pleased expressions turned grim when I explained that he was leaving. |
| 后来，我把我们的故事告诉了朋友，他和我是如何认识的，他是个多么出色的人，以及他如何以这样或那样的方式让我开心。当我解释说他准备离开的时候，他们高兴的表情变得沉重起来。 |
| He was leaving. That sentence was like a dagger. Every time I thought about it, I felt stabbed in the heart. |
| 他要走了。这句话就像一把匕首。每每念及此处，我的心都像被扎了一下。 |
| Over the next month, he and I grew closer. We started to take evening walks downstairs, playing badminton with neighbors, and messaging each other day and night. |
| 在接下来的一个月里，他和我越来越亲密。我们开始在傍晚下楼散步，与邻居打羽毛球，天天发信息交流。 |
| One day, when he was sick and I half-jokingly asked him how life was without seeing me, he replied, “Meaningless.” |
| 有一天他生病了，我半开玩笑地问他，见不到我的生活滋味如何，他回复道，“毫无意义。” |
| “Oh wow,” I said. |
| “哇噻，”我说。 |
| “I like that I can still surprise you,” he said. |
| “不错，我还能给你惊喜，”他说。 |
| I seemed to have made peace with the fact that we were still under lockdown, that everything was super expensive and difficult to get, that people were sneaking out of Shanghai every day, and that the whole city was silently suffering. While I savored how he made everything easier to bear, I also dreaded the uncertainties ahead. We were getting closer to freedom. I was getting more depressed. |
| 我似乎已经接受了现实，那就是我们仍处于被封锁状态，所有东西都很昂贵，很难买到，每天都有人逃离上海，整座城市也在默默承受着痛苦。虽然我珍惜他让这一切变得更容易忍受的能力，但我也害怕未来的不确定性。我们离自由越来越近了。我的心情也愈发沮丧。 |
| June 1 was the official date for the lockdown to be lifted, but by late May people were already going out and drinking and urinating on street corners. The city went from one extreme to another. |
| 6月1日是正式解封的日子，但到5月底，人们已经开始外出，在街角喝酒和小便。整座城市从一个极端走向另一个极端。 |
| When he and I were finally able to go on a walk together outside of our compound, he said, “You OK? Your energy level seems a bit lower than usual.” |
| 等他和我终于能走到我们的小区外散步时，他说，“你还好吗？你似乎没平时有精神。” |
| “Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “I feel weird seeing the world again after more than two months of lockdown.” But I was just saying that; it wasn’t the real reason. |
| “嗯，我很好，”我说。“就是在两个多月的封锁之后再次看到这个世界感觉很奇怪。”但我只是说说而已；这不是真正的原因。 |
| An hour later, when we were sunbathing on the stairs in front of a row of trees, I told him that I wasn’t good at saying goodbye. |
| 一小时后，当我们在一排树木前的楼梯上晒太阳时，我对他说，我不擅长告别。 |
| He looked at me without saying anything. |
| 他看着我，一言不发。 |
| I went on: “Before, it was very extreme because I would have mental breakdowns when I had to part with people I truly care about. Then I dug into my past, my childhood memories and realized that I have abandonment issues.” |
| 我继续说：“以前我的情绪很极端，因为当我不得不跟特别在乎的人分别，我会精神崩溃。后来我挖掘了自己的过去，我的童年记忆，发现我有遗弃情结。” |
| “I was waiting for you to reach that conclusion.” He lit a cigarette and said, “You just have to remember one thing — it’s nothing personal.” |
| “我就在等你得出那个结论。”他点燃一支烟，然后说，“你只要记住一件事就好——这不是你的问题。” |
| After that conversation, I could breathe again. |
| 那次谈话之后，我终于松了口气。 |
| In Shanghai, finding a suitable partner can feel impossible. Everyone is so busy, exhausted and guarded that opening their heart can seem too risky. After almost seven years of living here, I too have become a tough nut to crack. With no intention of putting the blame on my rough childhood or the men who have disappointed me, I do think those experiences have made me never want to be vulnerable again. |
| 在上海，想找个合适的伴侣感觉都是不可能任务。人人都那么忙碌、疲惫、警惕，连打开心扉都像是件过于冒险的事。在这里生活近七年后，我也变成了一个难以敞开内心的人。我不愿把这归咎于童年的艰难或是那些让我失望的男性，但我确实相信，这些经历让我再也不想曝露自己的脆弱。 |
| The lockdown changed all that. Something eroded my tough exterior enough to let him in. We read together, discussed philosophy, biked around the city and talked. Damn, we could talk. I thought Céline and Jesse in “Before Sunrise” talked too much — but they were nothing compared to us. |
| 封城改变了这一切。有什么东西侵蚀了我的坚硬外壳，让他进来了。我们一起阅读，讨论哲学，在城市里骑行聊天。我以前还觉得《爱在黎明破晓前》里的席琳和杰西话太多——但与我们相比，那都算不得什么。 |
| His apartment faces east; mine west. He would send me a picture of the sunrise every morning, and I would send him a picture of the sunset every evening. Old school romance is exactly my cup of tea. |
| 他的公寓朝东；我的向西。每天早上他都给我发一张日出的照片，晚上我则给他发一张日落的。老派浪漫正是我的菜。 |
| One day when we were sipping wine, I shed tears while watching a video he composed after going through a major depression, and he held me tight while listening to me open up about my past trauma. This is the kind of intimacy that I could die for. I know it’s unrealistic to say that external factors can resolve internal issues, but I felt like I was healing in his presence. |
| 有天我们在喝酒，我看了他在经历严重抑郁后创作的视频就哭了，而他紧紧抱着我，听我倾诉过去的创伤。这简直是我梦寐以求的亲密关系。我知道靠外部因素来解决自身内在问题是不现实的，但在他的陪伴下，我有了被治愈的感觉。 |
| My friends asked: “Why don’t you ask him to stay?” “Why don’t you go with him?” |
| 朋友们问我：“你为什么不让他留下？”“你为什么不和他一起走？” |
| The answer is that neither of us should stand in the other’s way when it comes to making life choices. I believe that everything happens for a reason. We had been neighbors for months, having drinks in the same bar, reading books in the same bookstore, walking on the same street and taking the same elevator, but we had never met. |
| 原因在于，我们都不应妨碍对方去做自己的人生选择。我相信万事皆有因。我们之前做了几个月邻居，去同一家酒吧喝酒，在同一家书店看书，走在同一条街，搭同一部电梯，但都从未相遇。 |
| I once asked him what would have happened if we had seen each other in a bar, and he said, ‘Knowing myself, nothing.” |
| 我曾经问他，如果我们是在酒吧认识会怎样，他说，“以我的个性，什么都不会发生。” |
| Our goodbye did happen after the lockdown ended — but not in the way I expected. |
| 封锁结束后，我们的确说了再见——但不是以我预期的方式。 |
| Lockdown jolted us out of our lives and created this bubble of vulnerability and romance, but bubbles always burst. When the harsh reality of normal life started to kick in, I returned to being the tough and rational person I was before. Unfortunately, my heart never wins battles against my brain. |
| 封锁使我们脱离了日常，创造出了这个脆弱而浪漫的泡沫，但泡沫总会破灭。当日常的残酷现实开始袭来，我又变回了以前那个坚强而理性的人。很不幸，我的心从来赢不了我的大脑。 |
| So here we are. Still in the same building but acting as if he already left. With our conversations diminishing day by day, I no longer look outside my window when dusk approaches. |
| 所以，现在就是这样了。还住在同一栋楼，但我表现得好像他已经离开了一样。随着我们的交流日益减少，当黄昏来临，我也不再看窗外的风景了。 |
| However, very rarely, when I do chance upon a sunset, I find myself wondering if the darkening orange hue promises a beautiful sunrise. |
| 然而，在偶然一瞥日落的时刻，我依然会想，那黯淡的余晖之后是否还会有美丽的日出。 |
OK阅读网 版权所有(C)2017 | 联系我们