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你是个“贝佐斯”吗?
Are You a Bezos?

来源:纽约时报    2021-07-22 04:14



        Perhaps the most noteworthy thing about the whole thing was that it wasn’t that noteworthy at all: another Tuesday. Another billionaire businessman paying to catapult himself into space.
        也许整件事最值得注意的是它根本没有那么值得注意:又是一个周二。又一位亿万富翁商人花钱把自己送上太空。
        Yet the sight of Jeff Bezos, in his beige cowboy hat and blue spacesuit (wearing a custom Omega Speedmaster over the sleeve as if he were Buzz Aldrin), high-fiving astronauts and then waxing profound about the experience afterward, resonated in ways that Sir Richard Branson’s wild ride did not.
        然而,当看到戴着米色牛仔帽,穿着蓝色太空服(定制的欧米茄超霸腕表戴在袖子外面,看上去就像巴兹·奥尔德林[Buzz Aldrin])的杰夫·贝佐斯(Jeff Bezos)跟宇航员击掌,然后讲述这次体验的深刻感受时,它所产生的共鸣与理查德·布兰森(Richard Branson)爵士的狂野太空旅行是不一样的。
        It has taken Amazon just 27 years to become a $1.8 trillion company. Depending on the oscillations of the stock market, Mr. Bezos is either the richest or the second richest man in the world. Yet he has become this without achieving commensurate mystique.
        亚马逊(Amazon)用了27年成为一家市值1.8万亿美元的公司。贝佐斯不是世界上最富有的人,就是世界上第二富有的人——这取决于股市的波动。然而,他走到这一步并没有获得相应的神秘感。
        He has not, like Tesla’s chief executive, Elon Musk, hosted “Saturday Night Live” and managed to do a surprisingly good job at it. He has not, like Apple’s co-founder Steve Jobs, shown Americans the power of a minimalist mock neck. He did not, like Twitter’s Jack Dorsey, spend a pandemic quarantining with Jay-Z.
        他没有像特斯拉(Tesla)的首席执行官埃隆·马斯克(Elon Musk)那样主持“周六夜现场”(Saturday Night Live)并且出乎意料地做得不错。他没有像苹果公司(Apple)的联合创始人史蒂夫·乔布斯(Steve Jobs)那样,向美国人展示极简主义高领毛衣的力量。他没有像Twitter的杰克·多西(Jack Dorsey)那样在大流行期间与Jay-Z一起隔离。
        All those guys inspire enmity, especially Mr. Musk and (even posthumously) Mr. Jobs. But the lines for their products reveal the emotional connection people have to them. They invented FOMO. Mr. Bezos merely capitalized on it and embodies it.
        所有这些人都会激发仇恨,尤其是马斯克,以及乔布斯(甚至是在他去世后)。但是他们的产品系列透露了人们与他们之间的情感联结。他们发明了FOMO(fear of missing out,错失恐惧症——译注)。贝佐斯只是将其加以利用并把它体现出来。
        We watched as he went to the gym, got biceps and bought motorcycle jackets. The problem was never the fit. It was that they seemed to accomplish the opposite of their intended purpose, which is to telegraph the chicness of indifference.
        我们看到他去健身房,练出二头肌,买了机车夹克。问题从来都不是合不合身。问题是,它们似乎实现了与预期目的相反的目的,即传达出冷漠的时髦。
        We read about the end of his marriage to MacKenzie Scott, a novelist turned mega-philanthropist, and the beginning of his romance with Lauren Sanchez, a former correspondent on the tabloid entertainment show “Extra!”
        我们听说了他与麦肯琪·斯科特(MacKenzie Scott)婚姻的终结——后者是一位小说家,后来成为超级慈善家——以及他开始与小报娱乐节目《Extra!》的前记者劳伦·桑切斯(Lauren Sanchez)谈恋爱。
        It seemed like a cliché.
        这听上去很老套。
        We gasped at the intimate text messages he sent her.
        我们被他发给她的私密短信吓了一跳。
        They were just so goofy, as if he’d consulted Siri for sexting advice.
        这些短信傻傻的,就好像他向Siri咨询了怎么发色情短信的建议。
        We looked at the pictures of his four-story $96 million real estate investment in the Flatiron district.
        我们看到了他在曼哈顿熨斗区投资9600万美元的四层楼高房产的照片。
        It seemed soulless, like something that would be designed by Marriott should it build its version of an André Balazs hotel.
        它似乎没有灵魂,就像万豪(Marriott)按照安德烈·巴拉兹(André Balazs)酒店设计了一个自己的版本似的。
        Yet by being worth around $200 billion and having few people who are likely to tell him the truth about, say, how he looks in a cowboy hat riding his phallic rocket, he has become the Dorian Gray of dorkiness, a locus classicus and fun-house mirror through which a sizable contingent of usually white men, approaching middle age and unpossessed of Ryan Gosling’s looks, should see ourselves, if we become honest enough to admit the errors of spending our way into regrettable stylistic choices.
        然而,由于拥有2000亿美元的身价,加上很少有人愿意告诉他真话——比如戴着牛仔帽乘坐状似阴茎的火箭上天的样子,他已经成为了愚蠢版本的道林·格雷(Dorian Gray),一个经典形象,像一面哈哈镜一样照射出一个人数相当可观、通常由白人男性组成的群体,他们即将进入中年,却没有雷恩·高斯林(Ryan Gosling)的容貌。如果我们足够诚实地承认我们花钱买来的风格打扮让人感到尴尬,我们会在镜中看到自己。
        There’s an onomatopoetic quality to Mr. Bezos’ name.
        贝佐斯的名字有一种拟声词的特质。
        A dentist with a Lamborghini is a Bezos. So is anyone in commercial real estate who, having just embarked on his first extramarital affair, starts shaving areas of himself that should not be shaved.
        开兰博基尼的牙医,是一位贝佐斯。任何从事商业地产行业的人也是一位贝佐斯,他刚刚开始了他的第一次婚外情,就开始剃掉自己不应该剃光的部位。
        I turned into a Bezos the day I decided to try and pull off a fanny pack and a pair of bootleg Dior shorts.
        在我决定尝试穿戴腰包和一件盗版Dior短裤的那天,我变成了一位贝佐斯。
        Pretending to be an oenophile makes a Bezos of many a man. So does deciding that it is not enough of an accomplishment to run a financial services company; that what one really needs is a side job on the weekends as a tropical house and EDM D.J.
        假装自己是一位品酒家,这让许多人成为了贝佐斯。决定经营一家金融服务公司不足以算是成就,这也是一位贝佐斯;一位贝佐斯会认为,人们真正需要的是在周末做一份兼职工作,作为热带浩室音乐和电音DJ。
        If you returned from your first trip to Burning Man at 50, you are treading dangerously close to Bezos territory.
        如果你第一次去火人节(Burning Man)旅行回来是在50岁的时候,那么你正在危险地接近贝佐斯的领地。
        If you have made attempts to book a singer like Jennifer Lopez, Stevie Wonder, John Legend, Patti LaBelle or Christina Aguilera at your wedding, birthday party or child’s religious gathering, you are a Bezos.
        如果你曾尝试在婚礼、生日派对或孩子的宗教聚会上请来像詹妮弗·洛佩兹(Jennifer Lopez)、史提夫·汪达(Stevie Wonder)、约翰·传奇(John Legend)、帕蒂·拉贝尔(Patti LaBelle)或克里斯蒂娜·阿奎莱拉(Christina Aguilera)这样的歌手,那么你就是一位贝佐斯。
        Bezoses are more likely to be rich than poor, but using Affirm at checkout has helped many less fortunate types achieve Bezosdom.
        贝佐斯人更有可能是富人而不是穷人,但在结账时使用Affirm(一个线上分期贷款平台——译注)帮助许多没那么多钱的人达到了贝佐斯境界。
        It’s hard, but not impossible, for a movie star to be a Bezos.
        电影明星要成为一位贝佐斯很难,但并非不可能。
        Mark Wahlberg, sporting a diamond encrusted Patek Phillipe sports watch that would be a joke in a Paul Thomas Anderson movie starring Mark Wahlberg, is most certainly a Bezos. So is Ben Affleck anytime he has his shirt off, and we can see the enormous phoenix he had permanently etched onto his back.
        马克·沃尔伯格戴着镶钻的百达翡丽(Patek Philippe)运动手表——这在一部沃尔伯格主演、保罗·托马斯·安德森(Paul Thomas Anderson)导演的电影中会是一个笑话——这让他无疑成为一位贝佐斯。本·阿弗莱克(Ben Affleck)在任何时候脱下衬衫就成为了一位贝佐斯,我们可以看到永久纹在他背上的巨大凤凰。
        Bezoses want to believe that the time spent on Pelotons over the last year is enough to justify ordering a Speedo over Amazon. Or that with a few good years left for our knees, we could still take up skateboarding or fly off in a rocket ship and become a Butch Cassidy for the skies, with a hat (and boots) to match.
        贝佐斯们希望相信去年在派乐腾(Peloton)上花费的时间足以证明在亚马逊下单买一条速比涛(Speedo)是合理的。或者,如果我们的膝盖还能好好用上几年,我们仍然可以玩滑板或乘坐火箭飞船升空,成为天空的布屈·卡西迪(Butch Cassidy),戴着配套的帽子(和靴子)。
        Here’s the problem: Butch Cassidy became Butch Cassidy by stealing. A Bezos compensates with a credit card.
        但问题是:布屈·卡西迪的成名是通过盗窃。一位贝佐斯则用信用卡来补偿。
        Shortly after descending to earth, Mr. Bezos went and did a news conference where he said: “I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer because you guys paid for all this. Seriously.”
        降落到地面后不久,贝佐斯出席了新闻发布会,他说:“我要感谢每一位亚马逊员工和每一位亚马逊客户,因为这一切都是你们付费的。真的。”
        It was a curious admission coming from a guy whose underlings are protesting their working conditions and meager delivery salaries. But what did everyone expect of a space cowboy in blue satin? He’s the world’s biggest Bezos.
        这是一个奇怪的认可,说这话的人的下属正在抗议工作条件差、送货工资太低。但是大家指望一个穿着蓝色缎面的太空牛仔怎么做?他可是世界上最大的贝佐斯。
        
        
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