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1. Because I said so! |
2. My mom used to scare me with this one: “Put on clean underwear! If you get hit by a bus, all the nurses will see those dirty ones!”. Always wondered which situation would have been worse. |
3. My mom told me: “All you had to do was drink water. Water will be the cure for anything. If your head hurt, if you got a cold, if you are two inches away from dying …” |
4. Have you lost your cotton-picking mind! |
5. If you fall out of that tree and break both legs, don’t come running to me. |
6. I should have swallowed you! |
7. 80% kids will get this one: “Don’t sit too close to the TV, you’ll ruin your eyes!” |
8. You may do whatever you want but not while you are living under my roof. |
9. I was about 9 or 10 when mom told me: “You’d better learn to wipe your butt better or do your own laundry. No woman wants to live with a man who has dirty draws.” |
10. If I can carry you for 9 months, you can carry those groceries from the car to the house. |
11. “I won’t get mad if you just tell me.” That is the biggest lie moms ever say. |
12. Why do you still live in my house? You are 35. |
13. Wait until your dad gets home. |
14. Wait until you have children. |
15. “Don’t make me turn this car around!” We all know she’s not going to turn the car around. |
16. Mummy’s just having grape juice like you are. (pouring wine into her wineglass) |
17. Don’t you roll your eyes at me! I’ll take you out and make another one who looks just like you. |
18. Mom: What’s my passcode again? |
妈:“我密码是多少来着?” |
19. Mom: “Who did this?” |
妈:“谁弄的!” |
20. “I love my children equally”. And we all know that’s a lie. |
21. I brought you into this world and I can TAKE YOU OUT. |
22. You better not ever start a fight. But if someone starts one with you, YOU BETTER FINISH IT!” |
23. “You are beautiful and people will love you.” — Where are those people momma? |
24. If you don’t eat your carrots, you won’t be able to see in the dark. |
25. This isn’t a hotel, you know. |
26. Having to say everything twice, having to say everything twice. |
27. Close the door. We are not cooling the whole neighborhood. |
28. If you don’t clean the gaps between your toes properly, you’ll start growing potatoes out of them. |
29. Dad is a millionaire – in the least worth currency in the world. |
30. You kids are the reason mommy drinks. |
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