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化身博士
Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by R.L.Stevenson

英文中文双语对照双语交替

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9 Doctor Jekyll's confession

I was born in the year 18-． I inherited a large fortune，a strong healthy body and an excellent mind． I wasnaturally hard－working and soon I was extremely successful inmy chosen work as a scientist．Although I was still young，important people came to me for advice．At an age when mostyoung men are going out and having fun， I was behaving like agrey－haired old man．

This was not easy for me．The outside world saw a serious，hard－working doctor． Behind this quiet character， however，was an active， fun-loving young man-about-town． This， ofcourse， was nothing to be ashamed of， but I did not realizethat at the time． I was ashamed， and I soon learned to keepmy two lives separate．

I was not dishonest in any way．Both these people were me．The serious， successful young doctor was me， and the wild，fun-loving，irresponsible young man was me too．I thought about this for a long time and slowly I realized that I was notextraordinary in this． Every man has two sides to hischaracter． He is two people．They live together-often uncomfortably in the same body．

'How fantastic，'I thought， if I could separate these twocharacters and give my fun－loving side his freedom． Then hecould go out and enjoy himself unashamedly and leave serious，studious Doctor Jekyll to get on with his important， life-savingwork．'

'Was it possible，' I wondered，'to find a drug that couldgive each side of my characier its own separate face and body？'

After much thought and careful study I believed I had foundthe answer．I had read many scientific books and spent manyhours in my laboratory，searching for the right mixture ofchemicals to make my drug．At last I had everything I neededexcept a special kind of salt． I bought some from a chemist，and then I was ready．

I hesitated for a long time before I began my experiment．Only a small mistake in the mixture of the drug could meanimmediate death．But in the end，my wish to know wasstronger than my fear．And so， late one disastrous night， Imixed everything together and prepared my drug．I watchedthe smoke rising from the liquid as it changed colour from redto purple and at last to green．Then， bravely，I drank everybitter drop．

I felt a violent sickness in my stomach and a terrible pain inall my bones．The room seemed to turn round and round and Itrembled with fear．Then the fear and pain disappeared and astrange， sweet feeling took its place． Wild thoughts dancedthrough my mind． They were not good，serious thoughtsThey were the wild passions of an evil and cruel stranger． Butinside myself I felt younger， lighter， more carefree than everbefore．'If this is pure evil，'I thought，'I like it．'

I stood there． enjoying these strange new thoughts and passions-and suddenly realized that I was shorter．At that timethere was no mirror in my stidy． Later I put one on the wallof my study so that I could watch these changes in my appearance Now，however，it was three o'clock in the morning andall the servants were asleep．I decided it was safe to go to mybedroom in my new body and take a look at myself in the mirror there．I crossed the garden and entered my house like astranger． As I came into my room， I saw Edward Hyde forthe first time．

At that time，the good side of my character was strongerthan the evil side．Henry Jekyll had his faults，but he wasmostly a good， kind man．I cannot be sure，but I believe thatis the reason why Edward Hyde was so much smaller thanHenry Jekyll．But that was not the only difference betweenthe two men． Henry Jekyll had a kind， open， honest face．Pure evil stared out of Edward Hyde's eyes．I felt no dislike，however．Indeed，I welcomed him．Edward Hyde was me，young and strong and full of life．

Later，however，I noticed that Hyde's appearance andmanner had a strong effect on other people． Nobody couldmeet Edward Hyde without a feeling of dislike and horror． Ibelieve I understand the reason for this too． Everyone is a mixture of good and evil．Even the worst criminal has a little goodin him． Only Edward Hyde was pure evil．

I stood for a long time，staring at the mirror．'Am Itrapped？'I wondered．'If I am，I must leave this house beforedaylight． If I don't， I shall be arrested as a thief．

I hurried back to my study． With trembling hands I mixedanother dose of the drug and drank it．Again I felt that terriblePain and sickness， but a few seconds later I found myself withthe face and body and character of Henry Jekyll once more．

I blame myself for the things that happened later． It wasnot the fault of the drug．That was neither good nor evil．Butit opened the prison doors and all owed Edward Hyde toescape．Soon he was out of control． He， you will remember，was wholly evil．Doctor Jekyll was not wholly good， however．He was a normal man with normal faults and weaknesses， andHyde was too strong for him．

I welcomed Hyde，therefore．I arranged everything verycarefully．I bought a flat in a poor part of London， where Ikept Hyde's clothes and employed a servant to do the housework．I took a dose of the drug whenever I wanted to forgetmy old， quiet， serious self for a time． In those early daysGod forgive me！-I thought it was all very amusing． DoctorJekyll was well known．Nobody knew Hyde， however， and inhis body I was free to do as I wished．

I will not go into details about my adventures and shamefulacts as Hyde． Jekyll remained as good and kind as ever and always did his best to undo the harm that Hyde did． But as timewent by， Jekyll became less and less able to control Hyde．

One night Hyde injured a child in the street and a passer－bysaw him．That passer－by was your cousin． I recognized himwhen the two of you came to my window．Your cousin caughtHyde and an angry crowd collected． They asked for money forthe child's family． In the end， in order to escape， Hyde hadto give your cousin a cheque in the name of Jekyll．

I learned my lesson from this， and opened a new bank account in the name of Hyde． I even gave Hyde a different handwriting． I was sure I was safe-but I was wrong．

Two months before the murder of Sir Danvers Carew I wentout on one of my evil adventures．Before I went to bed，I tooka dose of the drug and became Doctor Jekyll once more． Iwoke up in bed the next morning with a strange feeling thatsomething was wrong… I looked around the room， thendown at my hand．Henry Jekyll's hand was large，white， andwellmade， but the hand I saw that morning on the bedcoverwas thin，bony， greyish－brown， and hairy．It was the hand ofEdward Hyde．

Sick with horror， I stared at it． I was Henry Jekyll when Iwent to bed，'I thought．'And now I am Edward Hyde…What possible explanation can there be？ And，moreimportant， how can I get to my study and take the drug？'

Then I realized that the servants were quite used to the comings and goings of Hyde． I put on Hyde's clothes and marchedconfidently through the house． Poole stared in surprise to seeMr Hyde so early in the morning， but I did not care． Tenminutes later Doctor Jekyll had returned to his own shape andwas sitting down，pretending to eat breakfast．

Too worried to eat， I sat there thinking hard about my situation． I realized that in recent weeks Hyde had become biggerand stronger， both in body and character．

'What will I do，'I thought，' Hyde takes control？'Ithought about the drug． Once，in the early days，it had failedcompletely， and sometimes I had had to take a double dose before I changed into Hyde．Now，however，it was quite easy tobecome Hyde-the problem was to become Jekyll again aftermy adventures．My good self and my evil self were fighting formy mind and body-and my evil self was winning．

I knew I had to choose between the two， and I chose DoctorJekyll． Perhaps I was not wholly serious about this，however，because I did not sell Hyde's flat or destroy his clothes． Fortwo months I lived the life of a quiet and responsible man． Butsoon I began to miss Hyde-his strong young body， his love oflife and his dark adventures in the narrow， nameless streets ofLondon．One night， when my life as Jekyll seemed imposslblydull and boring， I mixed a dose of the drug and drank it．

It was like opening the door of a cage and letting a wild animal escape．That night I became a madman， and beat Sir Danvers to death-for no reason at all．I felt only a wild delight asI hit his body again and again． Afterwards I ran to the flat anddestroyed all my papers． I was not ashamed of my crime． Instead I was filled with a high，sweet excitement． I relived themurder as I walked back home through the streets． I feltstrong and masterful…Edward Hyde had a song on his lipsas he mixed a dose of the drug．

'Your very good health， SirDanvers！'he laughed as he drank．A moment of terrible pain，then poor Henry Jekyll fell to his knees and begged God to forgive him．

When I was myself again，I locked the door that led fromthe street to my laboratory． I broke the key and threw itaway． Goodbye for ever，Mr Hyde！I whispered．

The next day the news of the murder was all over London．The servant girl had seen the crime and recognized Mr Hyde．My other self was wanted by the police．

In some ways I was glad． Now Hyde could not show hisface to the world again． If he did， every honest man in London would be proud to report him to the police．

Once again I led a busy，responsible and almost happy life…until one fine，clear January day． I was sitting on a seat inthe park，enjoying the sunshine，when suddenly I felt deathlysick．I began to tremble all over． Soon， however， I felt wellagain－not only well， but young，strong and fearless． I lookeddown； my clothes were suddenly too big，the hand on my kneewas the bony，hairy hand of Edward Hyde． It was so sudden．One moment I was a famous and popular doctor，the next Iwas a violent criminal who was wanted for murder．

How could I get to my study to take the drug？ I had lockedthe street door to my laboratory and broken the key． I couldnot， therefore，enter from the street． I could not go inthrough the house because of the servants．I needed help fromoutside．I thought of Lanyon，but how could I reach him？And how could I persuade him to let Hyde into his home？How，too，could I persuade him to break into Doctor Jekyll's private study？It looked impossible． Then I remembered．My appearance was unrecognizable，but my handwriting was unchanged．

I'could still write a letterin Doctor Jekyll's name！Calling a passing taxicab，I orderedthe driver to drive to a hotel quite near Lanyon's house．Ofcourse Jekyll's clothes were much too large for my body，and Ihad trouble in climbing into the cab．The driver noticed mystrange appearance and could not help laughing．I gave himsuch a black look，however，that the smile froze on his face．In my desperate fear and danger，I was like a pain-maddened animal，ready to kill or wound at any moment．I wanted topull the driver from his seat and murder him then and there．But I was clever too．My life depended on my coolness，and Ifought to control my murderous passions．

We reached the hotel．I paid the driver and went inside，holding up my too-large trousers．The servants smiled whenthey saw my strange appearance．I stared angrily at them andtheir smiles disappeared at once．I gave my orders and they ledme to a private room and brought me some writing paper and apen．

Hyde in danger of his life was a new experience for me．He—I write'he'because I find it hard to write'I'—he wasnot human．His only feelings at that time were fear and hate．Hyde was wholly evil，but he was not stupid．He knew thathis life depended on two letters，one to Lanyon and one toPoole．If he failed，he would die．

Carefully he wrote the letters and sent a servant to postthem．After that he sat all day by the fire in the private room．There too he had dinner，brought by a frightened waiter．Atlast，when darkness had covered the city，he sat in the cornerof a closed taxicab．'Just drive round！'he ordered，and thedriver drove backwards and forwards through the streets ofLondon．

Then，when Hyde thought the driver was beginning to sus-pect something，he sent the taxicab away and continued onfoot．He was a strange figure in his too-large clothes，withfear and hate staring out of his eyes．He walked along talkingto himself．Once a woman spoke to him 'Will you buy my matches，sir？'she begged．Hyde hit heracross the face，and she ran away in fear.

My plan was successful．And when I arrived in Lanyon's house，I took the dose of the drug that returned me to my nor-mal appearance．

Immediately afterwards I felt deeply ashamed．Perhaps itwas Lanyon's horror that made me feel like that.I do notknow．But I hated myself and I was conscious of an importantchange in my feelings．I was no longer afraid of the police-Iwas afraid of Hyde himself．The thought of his short，strong，hairy body and his evil，cruel，wholly selfish mind filled mewith horror．

Exhausted by the horrors of that day，I slept heavily．Iwoke in the morning feeling weak and shaky，but quitenormal．I still hated and feared the thought of the wild animalinside me，and I had not forgotten the desperate dangers of theday before．But I was at home and close to my drugs，and Iwas most deeply grateful for my escape．

I was walking across the garden after breakfast，enjoyingthe clear wintry air，when suddenly my body was again tornby those indescribable feelings which I always experienced af-ter a dose of the drug．I only just reached my study before Iwas again burning and freezing with the violent passions ofHyde．With feverish speed I mixed the drug．This time I hadto take a double dose to return to my old shape．And then，on-ly six hours later，the pains returned and I had to repeat thedose．

From that day onwards the situation worsened．I neededlarger and more frequent doses in order to stay in Jekyll's body．The pains came unexpectedly，but most of all when Iwas asleep．I was afraid to go to bed，or even to sleep for afew moments in my chair．If I did so，I always woke as Hyde．

Soon Jekyll was a sick man，feverish and weakened by painand fear．As Jekyll grew weaker，Hyde became stronger thanever．He burned with hate for everybody and everything．AndHyde and Jekyll now hated each other with equal passion．Jekyll hated Hyde because Hyde was evil and inhuman，andbecause Hyde was stronger than he was．Jekyll lived in fear ofwaking up and finding himself in Hyde's body，with allHyde's evil passions．Hyde hated Jekyll for a different reason．His fear of death-the punishment for murder-drove him tothe hiding-place of Jekyll's body．But he hated this prison andwas always fighting．to escape from Jekyll's mind and body，and take control．He also hated Jekyll's weakness and his sad，hopeless condition．Most of all,he hated Jekyll's dislike ofhim．This was why Hyde sometimes did things to annoyJekyll．He tore the doctor's books and wrote all over them.He burned his letters and even destroyed a picture of thedoctor's dead father．

Only Hyde's fear of his own death stops him from killingme．His love of life is terribly strong，and he knows that if hekills me，he too will die．I almost feel sorry for him．

It is useless to continue this confession．The final disasterhas arrived，and will put an end to my punishment．I shallsoon lose my own face and character for ever．I have only afew doses of the drug left．I sent Poole to the same chemist tofetch some more chemicals．When he brought them，I mixed adose of the drug．The liquid smoked and changed from red topurple，but it did not turn green．I drank it，and looked in themirror．But there was no effect．Edward Hyde's face stillstared back at me．

I expect Poole has told you that I have searched London forthe chemicals I need．It is no good．I have decided that thefirst chemicals I bought were not absolutely pure．By accident，they contained something unknown to myself or to the chemistthat prepared them．And that unknown something made mydrug effective．So my drug was an accidental discovery thatcannot be repeated．

About a week has passed．I have used the last of the oldchemicals，and for the moment I am Henry Jekyll again．But Icannot write much more-I have very little time．If Hyde re-turns while I am writing this confession，he will tear it topieces to annoy me．If I finish it，however，he will probablynot notice it．He lives only for the moment，and he is already achanged man．He is like a trapped animal now．He sits in mychair trembling and weeping with hate and fear．All the timehe listens for the policeman's knock at the door．Will he becaught at last，and put to death？Or will he be brave enough totake a dose of poison at the last moment？

Well，that is not my business．This is the true hour of mydeath．When you read this，the Henry Jekyll you know will bedead．The rest of the story is about Edward Hyde．Now，as Iput down my pen，I bring the life of unhappy Henry Jekyll toan end．