爱丽丝镜中世界奇遇记
Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There


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    9 Queen Alice
    
    ‘Well, this is grand!’said Alice.She got up andwalked around for a while,but the crown feltvery heavy and strange,so she sat down again. Then she no-ticed that the Red Queen and the White Queen were now sit-ting on either side of her.How they had got there,she had noidea.But she was not at all surprised. Nothing could surpriseher now in the looking-glass world.
    ‘Now I am a Queen,’said Alice,‘does this mean that thegame of chess has finished,or-’
    ‘Speak when you're spoken to!’the Red Queen said.‘Think before you speak, and write it down afterwards.’
    ‘But I only-’Alice began·
    ‘And you can't be a Queen, ’the Red Queen went on,‘un-til you've done your lessons.’
    ‘Are you good at sums?’ the White Queen asked.‘What's one and one and one and one and one and one and one?’
    ‘I don't know,’said Alice.‘I lost count.But why-’
    ‘She can't do sums,’said the Red Queen.‘What about lan-guages? And can you read?’
    ‘Of course I can read!’Alice said.‘And I know a littleFrench,but I really don't see why-’
    ‘It's clear,’said the White Queen,shaking her head sadly,‘that she wants to argue about something,but she doesn'tknow what to argue about!’
    Alice decided it would be safer to say nothing, and for awhile there was silence. Then the Red Queen said to theWhite Queen,‘I invite you to Alice's party this afternoon.’
    ‘And I invite you,’the White Queen replied.‘But I musthave a rest first,’she went on.‘I am so sleepy.’
    ‘And so must I,’said the Red Queen.She looked at Alice.‘You can sing to us,to help us sleep.’
    Then the two Queens put their heads against Alice's shoul-ders.In a moment they were both asleep,and snoring loudly.
    After a while the snoring seemed to change and began tosound almost like music.Alice thought that she could evenhear some words. She listened hard, and suddenly she foundthat the Queens had disappeared, and she was standing infront of a tall and very grand-looking doorway.Above the doorwere the words QUEEN ALICE in large letters.
    Alice knocked,and the door flew open.There seemed to behundreds of voices singing, and Alice could now hear thewords very clearly.They went like this:
    Then fill up the glasses with everything nice,
    And cover the table with buttons and rice.
    Put cats in the coffee,and salt in the tea-
    And welcome Queen Alice with thirty-times-three!
    ‘I suppose I should go in,’Alice said to herself.So in shewent,and at once everyone in the hall became silent.
    As she walked down the long hall, she saw that there wereanimals, birds, and even a few flowers among the crowd seat-ed round the table. At the top there were three chairs; theRed and White Queens had taken two of them, but the middleone was empty. Alice sat down,feeling a little uncomfortableand wishing that someone would speak.
    At last the Red Queen began.‘You've missed the fish.Bring the meat now!’And at once the waiters put a large jointof meat in front of Alice.
    But before she could begin to cut up the joint, the RedQueen spoke again.‘Let me introduce you to the joint,’ shesaid.‘Alice-Meat.Meat-Alice.’
    The joint of meat then stood up on the plate and curtsied toAlice.Alice,feeling both frightened and amused,picked upthe knife and fork.‘May I give you some meat?’she said,looking from one Queen to the other.
    ‘Certainly not!’the Red Queen said.‘It isn't polite to cutanyone you've been introduced to.Take away the joint!’
    The waiters immediately carried away the joint,andbrought a large plum-pudding in its place.
    ‘Please don't introduce me to the pudding,’said Alicequickly,‘or we shall get no dinner at all.’
    But the Red Queen said loudly,‘Pudding- Alice. Alice-Pudding.Take away the pudding!’And the waiters took itaway at once.
    Then Alice decided to give an order herself.‘Waiter!Bringback the pudding!’When the pudding appeared again,shequickly cut off a piece and gave it to the Red Queen.
    ‘That's really friendly!’said the Pudding.‘How wouldyou like someone to cut a piece out of you?’
    Alice was too surprised to speak.
    ‘Say something,’said the Red Queen.‘You can't leave allthe conversation to the pudding!’
    By this time the party was beginning to get very noisy,andmore and more strange things were happening.Bottles andplates were now walking around on the table,arm in arm, andthe White Queen began to whisper in Alice's ear a long poemabout fishes.Then the Red Queen screamed at the top of hervoice,‘Let's drink to Queen Alice's health!’
    Some of the animals put their glasses upside-down on theirheads,others got inside them or knocked them over on thetable.The forks began to dance with the spoons,and the noisegot wilder and wilder.The White Queen said in Alice's ear,‘You must stand up and give thanks now, you know.’
    Alice stood up.‘I must stop all this!’she cried,and shetook hold of the table-cloth with both hands.One good pull,and everything came crashing down on the floor.
    ‘And now for you!’she went on, turning to the RedQueen,who had suddenly become very much smaller and wasrunning around on the table.‘You started all this trouble,and I'll shake you into a kitten!Yes,I will!’
    

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