哈利·波特与凤凰社
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix


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    CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN - The Lost Prophecy
    第三十七章 失落的预言
    
    
    Harry's feet hit solid ground; his knees buckled a little and the golden wizard's head fell with a resounding clunk to the floor. He looked around and saw that he had arrived in Dumbledore's office.
    哈利的双脚落在了坚实的地面上,膝盖稍稍弯曲了一下,那个黄金巫师的脑袋掉在地板上,发出咚咚的回响。他环顾一下周围,发现自己来到了邓布利多的办公室里。
    Everything seemed to have repaired itself during the Headmasters absence. The delicate silver instruments stood once more on the spindle-legged tables, puffing and whirring serenely. The portraits of the headmasters and headmistresses were snoozing in their frames, heads lolling back in armchairs or against the edge of the; picture. Harry looked through the window. There was a cool line of pale green along the horizon: dawn was approaching.
    在校长离开的这段日子里,这里的所有东西好像都已经自我修复了。那些精美的银器又立在了细长腿的桌子上,宁静地喷着烟雾,旋转着。男女老校长的肖像正在照片里打盹,他们有的懒洋洋地把脑袋靠在带扶手的椅子上,有的则倚在肖像的边框上。哈利从窗口向外望去,一道素雅的灰绿色挂在天边,黎明正缓缓到来。
    The silence and the stillness, broken only by the occasional grunt or snuffle of a sleeping portrait, was unbearable to him. If his surroundings could have reflected the feelings inside him, the pictures would have been screaming in pain. He walked around the quiet, beautiful office, breathing quickly, trying not to think. But he had to think . . . there was no escape . . .
    办公室里静悄悄的,所有的东西都一动也不动,只有熟睡中的某个肖像偶尔发出的鼾声或是抽鼻子声才会打破这里的宁静。哈利没有办法忍受这样的环境。要是周围的一切能够反映出他的内心感受,要是这些肖像能够在痛苦中呐喊,那该有多好。他在这间安静、漂亮的办公室里走来走去,努力不去想任何事情,但又不得不去想……没有办法逃避……
    It was his fault Sirius had died; it was all his fault. If he, Harry, had not been stupid enough to fall for Voldemort's trick, if he had not been so convinced that what he had seen in his dream was real, if he had only opened his mind to the possibility that Voldemort was, as Hermione had said, banking on Harry's love of playing the hero . . .
    小天狼星死了,是他的错,全都是他的错。如果他,哈利,还没有愚蠢到被伏地魔的花招所欺骗,如果他没有坚定不移地确信在梦里所见到的就是真实的,如果他哪怕只是稍稍考虑一下赫敏曾经说过的,伏地魔可能在利用他的热衷逞英雄……
    It was unbearable, he would not think about it, he could not stand it . . . there was a terrible hollow inside him he did not want to feel or examine, a dark hole where Sirius had been, where Sirius had vanished; he did not want to have to be alone with that great, silent space, he could not stand it - '
    真是无法忍受,他不愿去想,他没有办法来承受这一切……他的内心有一个可怕的空洞,正是在这个漆黑的洞里,小天狼星曾经存在过却又消失了,他不愿去感受它,也不愿去琢磨它;他不愿意一个人待在这样一个大而静的空间里,他忍受不了——
    A picture behind him gave a particularly loud grunting snore, and a cool voice said, 'Ah . . . Harry Potter . . .'
    一幅肖像在他身后发出一声响亮的呼噜,接着用一种冷漠的腔调说道:“啊……哈利·波特……”
    Phineas Nigellus gave a long yawn, stretching his arms as he surveyed Harry out of shrewd, narrow eyes.
    菲尼亚斯·奈杰勒斯一边打着长长的哈欠伸着懒腰,一边用那双狡黠的眯缝眼审视着哈利。
    'And what brings you here in the early hours of the morning?' said Phineas eventually. This office is supposed to be barred to all but the rightful Headmaster. Or has Dumbledore sent you here? Oh, don't tell me . . .' He gave another shuddering yawn. 'Another message for my worthless great-great-grandson?'
    “你一大早来这里干什么?”菲尼亚斯说,“这间办公室除了合法的校长之外,其他人是禁止入内的。难道是邓布利多送你来的?噢,不要告诉我……”他又抖动着打了个哈欠。“是另一条有关我那个没有用的玄孙的消息?”
    Harry could not speak. Phineas Nigellus did not know that Sirius was dead, but Harry could not tell him. To say it aloud would be to make it final, absolute, irretrievable.
    哈利一句话也说不出来。菲尼亚斯还不知道小天狼星已经死了,但是哈利不能告诉他。如果大声地说出来,就会使这件事情彻底终结,彻底无法挽回了。
    A few more of the portraits had stirred now. Terror of being interrogated made Harry stride across the room and seize the doorknob.
    又有几幅肖像活动起来。哈利担心会受到他们的盘问,于是大步穿过房间,抓住门把手。
    It would not turn. He was shut in.
    但是门没有开。他被关在屋子里了。
    'I hope this means,' said the corpulent, red-nosed wizard who hung on the wall behind the Headmasters desk, 'that Dumbledore will soon be back among us?'
    “我希望这意味着……”一个胖胖的长着红鼻子的巫师说,他悬挂在校长办公桌后面的墙上,“邓布利多很快就会回到我们中间来了?”
    Harry turned. The wizard was surveying him with great interest. Harry nodded. He tugged again on the doorknob behind his back, but it remained immovable.
    哈利转过身去,那个巫师饶有兴趣地打量着哈利。哈利点了点头。反手又一次使劲扭动背后的门把手,可门还是没有打开。
    'Oh good,' said the wizard. 'It has been very dull without him, very dull indeed.'
    “哦,太好了,”那个巫师说,“没有他,太没有意思了,实在太没有意思了。”
    He settled himself on the throne-like chair on which he had been painted and smiled benignly upon Harry.
    他坐在一把像宝座一样的椅子上,在哈利头顶上方亲切地微笑着,这幅肖像就是他坐在这把椅子上让人给他画的。
    'Dumbledore thinks very highly of you, as I am sure you know,' he said comfortably. 'Oh yes. Holds you in great esteem.'
    “邓布利多对你的评价很高,这个我想你是知道的。”他悠然自得地说道,“哦,当然,对你也是相当尊重的。”
    The guilt filling the whole of Harry's chest like some monstrous, weighty parasite, now writhed and squirmed. Harry could not stand this, he could not stand being himself any more . . . he had never felt more trapped inside his own head and body, never wished so intensely that he could be somebody, anybody else . . .
    哈利的内心充满了负罪感,像是一些巨大的、沉甸甸的寄生虫在翻滚蠕动。哈利忍受不了这些,他再也不能面对自己就是哈利……他从来没有像现在这样被自己的身心困得喘不过气来,从来没有如此强烈地希望自己是其他什么人,其他任何人……
    The empty fireplace burst into emerald green flame, making Harry leap away from the door, staring at the man spinning inside the grate. As Dumbledore's tall form unfolded itself from the fire, the wizards and witches on the surrounding walls jerked awake, many of them giving cries of welcome.
    空荡荡的壁炉里突然冒出翠绿色的火焰,哈利吓得从门边跳开了,眼睛盯着壁炉里面飞速旋转的人影。当邓布利多高大的身影从火苗里浮现出来的时候,周围墙上男男女女的巫师们都猛地苏醒了,他们当中许多人爆发出热烈的欢呼声。
    Thank you,' said Dumbledore softly.
    “谢谢!”邓布利多柔声说。
    He did not look at Harry at first, but walked over to the perch beside the door and withdrew, from an inside pocket of his robes, the tiny, ugly, featherless Fawkes, whom he placed gently on the tray of soft ashes beneath the golden post where the full-grown Fawkes usually stood.
    他没有马上去看哈利,而是走到门边的栖木旁,从袍子里面的口袋里掏出一只幼小的、丑陋的、没有羽毛的福克斯,把它轻轻地放在镀金栖枝下面盛着细灰的盘子里,这个位置是成年福克斯平时待的地方。
    'Well, Harry,' said Dumbledore, finally turning away from the baby bird, 'you will be pleased to hear that none of your fellow students are going to suffer lasting damage from the night's events.'
    “哦,哈利,”邓布利多终于从这只幼小的凤凰身旁走开,对哈利说,“你听到后会很高兴的,你的那些同学,没有人会因为昨天晚上的事而长期受到伤痛的折磨。”
    Harry tried to say, 'Good,' but no sound came out. It seemed to him that Dumbledore was reminding him of the amount of damage he had caused, and although Dumbledore was for once looking at him directly, and although his expression was kindly rather than accusatory, Harry could not bear to meet his eyes.
    哈利很想挤出一个“好”字但是却没有发出声音。在他看来,邓布利多是在提醒他,他所造成的损失有多么惨重。虽然邓布利多的目光只有这一次是在直接注视着自己,而且他的态度温和、亲切,绝不是在责怪自己,但哈利仍然没有办法忍受正视他的目光。
    'Madam Pomfrey is patching everybody up,' said Dumbledore 'Nymphadora Tonks may need to spend a little time in St Mungos, but it seems she will make a full recovery.'
    “庞弗雷夫人正在给他们治疗,”邓布利多说,“尼法朵拉·唐克斯可能需要在圣芒戈医院多待一些时间,不过看起来她也会很快康复的。”
    Harry contented himself with nodding at the carpet, which was growing lighter as the sky outside grew paler. He was sure all the: portraits around the room were listening closely to every wore! Dumbledore spoke, wondering where Dumbledore and Harry had been, and why there had been injuries.
    哈利只有冲着地毯一个劲儿地点头,随着外面天色逐渐放明,地毯也变得越来越亮。他确信这间屋子里的所有肖像都在竖着耳朵倾听邓布利多所讲的每一个字,并且正在纳闷邓布利多与哈利曾经到过什么样的地方,为什么会有人受伤。
    'I know how you're feeling, Harry,' said Dumbledore very quietly.
    “我知道你现在是什么心情,哈利。”邓布利多用很轻的声音说。
    'No, you don't,' said Harry, and his voice was suddenly loud and strong; white-hot anger leapt inside him; Dumbledore knew nothing about his feelings.
    “不,你不知道。”哈利突然提高了嗓门有力地说。强烈的愤怒猛地跃上心头,邓布利多一点儿也不了解他的心情。
    'You see, Dumbledore?' said Phineas Nigellus slyly. 'Never try to understand the students. They hate it. They would much rather be tragically misunderstood, wallow in self-pity, stew in their own - '
    “你瞧,邓布利多?”菲尼亚斯·奈杰勒斯狡黠地说,“千万不要想方设法去了解学生们的心思。他们讨厌这样做。他们宁愿被伤心地误会,一个劲儿地自哀自怜,备受煎熬……”
    That's enough, Phineas,' said Dumbledore.
    “够了,菲尼亚斯。”邓布利多说。
    Harry turned his back on Dumbledore and stared determinedly out of the window. He could see the Quidditch stadium in the distance. Sirius had appeared there once, disguised as the shaggy black dog, so he could watch Harry play . . . he had probably come to see whether Harry was as good as James had been . . . Harry had never asked him . . .
    哈利转过身去,背对着邓布利多,眼睛坚定地凝望着窗外。他可以看到远处的魁地奇球场。小天狼星曾在那里出现过一次,变成一条蓬头垢面的黑狗,为的是观看哈利的比赛……他可能是来看看哈利是否像詹姆那样优秀……哈利从来也没有问起过他……
    There is no shame in what you are feeling, Harry,' said Dumbledore's voice. 'On the contrary . . . the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength.'
    “你心里的感受,没有什么可丢脸的,哈利,”邓布利多说道,“恰恰相反……事实上你能感受到这样的痛苦,正是你最坚强之处。”
    Harry felt the white-hot anger lick his insides, blazing in the terrible emptiness, filling him with the desire to hurt Dumbledore for his calmness and his empty words.
    哈利感到熊熊的怒火正在舔噬他的五脏六腑,在可怕的空洞里燃烧,使他充满想要伤害邓布利多的愿望,就因为他那样若无其事,说了那些无关痛痒的话。
    'My greatest strength, is it?' said Harry, his voice shaking as he stared out at the Quidditch stadium, no longer seeing it. 'You haven't got a clue . . . you don't know . . ."
    “我最坚强之处,是吗?”哈利说,他的声音在颤抖,眼睛仍然盯着窗外的魁地奇球场,但是却视而不见,“你一点也不明白……你不知道……”
    'What don't I know?' asked Dumbledore calmly.
    “我不知道什么?”邓布利多平静地问。
    It was too much. Harry turned around, shaking with rage.
    太过分了。哈利转过身来,气得浑身发抖。
    'I don't want to talk about how I feel, all right?'
    “我不想讨论我的感受,可以吗?”
    'Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human - '
    “哈利,像你这样忍受痛苦就证明你还是一个人!这种痛苦是人性的一部分——”
    'THEN - I - DON'T - WANT - TO - BE - HUMAN!' Harry roared, and he seized the delicate silver instrument from the spindle-legged table beside him and flung it across the room; it shattered into a hundred tiny pieces against the wall. Several of the pictures let out yells of anger and fright, and the portrait of Armando Dippet said, 'Really!'
    “那——我——不——想——有——人性!”哈利吼叫着,从身旁细长腿的桌子上一把抓起那个精致的银器,朝屋子另一头扔过去。银器砸在墙上,撞得粉碎。
    'I DON'T CARE!' Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. 'I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANY MORE - '
    一些肖像又惊又气地叫了起来,阿芒多·迪佩特的肖像说:“真是的!”
    He seized the table on which the silver instrument had stood and threw that, too. It broke apart on the floor and the legs rolled in different directions.
    “我不在乎!”哈利冲着他们大叫,猛地又抓起一个扔到了壁炉里,“我已经受够了,我也看够了,我要摆脱掉,我要结束一切,我再也不会在乎——”
    'You do care,' said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. 'You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.'
    他抓起那张放银器的桌子也扔了出去。桌子砸在地板上散了架,那几条细腿也断了,滚向不同的方向。
    'I - DON'T!' Harry screamed, so loudly that he felt his throat might tear, and for a second he wanted to rush at Dumbledore and break him, too; shatter that calm old face, shake him, hurt him, make him feel some tiny part of the horror inside himself.
    “你确实在乎。”邓布利多说道。他没有让步,也没有采取任何行动来阻止哈利破坏他的办公室。他的神情还是很平静,几乎是超脱的。“你很在乎你的感受,简直要痛苦死了。”
    'Oh, yes, you do,' said Dumbledore, still more calmly. 'You have now lost your mother, your father, and the closest thing to a parent you have ever known. Of course you care.'
    “我——没有!”哈利高声尖叫着,嗓门大得让他感觉自己的喉咙都快扯裂了。一刹那间,他真想冲向邓布利多,猛揍他一顿,打烂他那张平静的老脸,摇晃他,打伤他,让他内心能够感受到一丝的恐惧。
    'YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!' Harry roared. 'YOU - STANDING THERE - YOU - '
    “哦,不,你有。”邓布利多说,神情更加平静了,“你现在已失去了你的妈妈、你的爸爸,还有除了父母之外你所熟悉的最亲近的人,你当然会在乎。”
    But words were no longer enough, smashing things was no more help; he wanted to run, he wanted to keep running and never look back, he wanted to be somewhere he could not see the clear blue eyes staring at him, that hatefully calm old face. He turned on his heel and ran to the door, seized the doorknob again and wrenched at it.
    “你不了解我的感受!”哈利咆哮着,“你——站在那里——你——”
    But the door would not open.
    但是怒吼解决不了问题,砸东西也没有更多的帮助。他想跑,他想一直跑下去,不再回头看那张可恶的平静的老脸;他想去一个地方,再也见不到那双湛蓝的盯着自己的眼睛。他猛地一转身跑到门口,再次握住门把手,猛地一扭。
    Harry turned back to Dumbledore.
    门还是没有打开。
    'Let me out,' he said. He was shaking from head to foot.
    哈利又转过身冲着邓布利多。
    'No,' said Dumbledore simply.
    “让我出去。”他浑身颤抖着说。
    For a few seconds they stared at each other.
    “不行。”邓布利多简短地说。
    'Let me out,' Harry said again.
    他们相互盯着对方,对视了几秒钟。
    'No,' Dumbledore repeated.
    “让我出去。”哈利又说。
    'If you don't - if you keep me in here - if you don't let me - '
    “不行。”邓布利多重复了一遍。
    'By all means continue destroying my possessions,' said Dumbledore serenely. 'I daresay I have too many.'
    “如果你不——如果你要把我留在这里——如果你不让我——”
    He walked around his desk and sat down behind it, watching Harry.
    “你尽情毁掉我的财物吧。”邓布利多沉着地说道,“我敢说我的财物太多了。”
    'Let me out,' Harry said yet again, in a voice that was cold and almost as calm as Dumbledore's.
    他绕到桌子后面,坐下来看着哈利。
    'Not until I have had my say,' said Dumbledore.
    “让我出去,”哈利又说了一遍,语气冷冰冰的,就像邓布利多的声音一样平静。
    'Do you - do you think I want to - do you think I give a - I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'VE GOT TO SAY!' Harry roared. 'I don't want to hear anything you've got to say!'
    “等我把话讲完。”邓布利多说。
    'You will,' said Dumbledore steadily. 'Because you are not nearly as angry with me as you ought to be. If you are to attack me, as I know you are close to doing, I would like to have thoroughly earned it.'
    “你——你以为我想——你以为我会在意——我根本不在乎你要说什么!”哈利怒吼着。“你要说的话,我一句也不想听!”
    'What are you talking - ?'
    “你要听,”邓布利多坚决地说,“因为你在生我的气,但远没有气到你应有的程度。如果你要攻击我,我知道你现在很快就要这样做了,我倒很乐意让你这么做。”
    'It is my fault that Sirius died,' said Dumbledore clearly. 'Or should I say, almost entirely my fault - I will not be so arrogant as to claim responsibility for the whole. Sirius was a brave, clever and energetic man, and such men are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger. Nevertheless, you should never have believed for an instant that there was any necessity for you to go to the Department of Mysteries tonight. If I had been open with you, Harry, as I should have been, you would have known a long time ago that Voldemort might try and lure you to the Department of Mysteries, and you would never have been tricked into going there tonight. And Sirius would not have had to come after you. That blame lies with me, and with me alone.'
    “你在说什么——?”
    Harry was still standing with his hand on the doorknob but was unaware of it. He was gazing at Dumbledore, hardly breathing, listening yet barely understanding what he was hearing.
    “小天狼星的死是我的错,”邓布利多清清楚楚地说道,“或者如果我可以这样说的话,几乎是我的错——我还没有自大到想承担全部的责任。小天狼星是个勇敢、机智、充满活力的人,像这样的人在得知其他人处境危险的时候,是不会安心自己待在家里躲起来的。不过,你不应该认为你必须要在今天晚上到神秘事务司去。如果这之前我能够与你开诚布公地谈一次,哈利,我是应当这样去做的,你就可以在很早以前就知道伏地魔可能会设法引诱你到神秘事务司去,这样你就不会在今天晚上被骗到那里。小天狼星也就不会跟在你的后面也赶到那里。错误在我,在我一个人身上。”
    'Please sit down,' said Dumbledore. It was not an order, it was a request.
    哈利依然握着门把手站在那里,但他自己没有意识到。他目不转睛地看着邓布利多,几乎屏住了呼吸。他听着邓布利多的话,可是基本上什么也没听明白。
    Harry hesitated, then walked slowly across the room now littered with silver cogs and fragments of wood, and took the seat facing Dumbledore's desk.
    “请坐下吧。”邓布利多说。他不是在命令哈利,而是在请求他。
    'Am I to understand,' said Phineas Nigellus slowly from Harry's left, 'that my great-great-grandson - the last of the Blacks - is dead?'
    哈利迟疑了一下,然后慢慢地走过满是银器碎片和碎木头的地板,在邓布利多的对面坐了下来。
    'Yes, Phineas,' said Dumbledore.
    “我是不是可以理解为,”菲尼亚斯·奈杰勒斯在哈利左边慢慢地说,“我的玄孙——布莱克家族的最后一个人——死了?”
    'I don't believe it,' said Phineas brusquely.
    “是的,菲尼亚斯。”邓布利多说。
    Harry turned his head in time to see Phineas marching out of his portrait and knew that he had gone to visit his other painting in Grimmauld Place. He would walk, perhaps, from portrait to portrait, calling for Sirius through the house . . .
    “我不相信。”菲尼亚斯粗暴地说。
    'Harry, I owe you an explanation,' said Dumbledore. 'An explanation of an old man's mistakes. For I see now that what I have done, and not done, with regard to you, bears all the hallmarks of the failings of age. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young . . . and I seem to have forgotten, lately . . .'
    哈利急忙转过头,看到菲尼亚斯正从他的肖像里大步走开。哈利知道他曾到格里莫广场拜访过他的另一幅肖像。此刻,他也许要走过每一幅肖像,要在整座房子里呼唤小天狼星……
    The sun was rising properly now; there was a rim of dazzling orange visible over the mountains and the sky above it was colourless and bright. The light fell upon Dumbledore, upon the silver of his eyebrows and beard, upon the lines gouged deeply into his lace.
    “哈利,我欠你一个解释,”邓布利多说道,“一个对老年人所犯错误的解释。因为我现在意识到,我曾经做过的和没有去做的关于你的那些事情,都带有上了年纪的人的缺憾。年轻人不知道上了年纪的人是怎么想的,也不知道他们的感受,但是如果上了年纪的人忘记了年轻时是怎样的情形,那就大错特错了……看来我最近已经想不起来……”
    'I guessed, fifteen years ago,' said Dumbledore, 'when I saw the scar on your forehead, what it might mean. I guessed that it might be the sign of a connection forged between you and Voldemort.'
    太阳已经升起,山峦呈现出橘黄色的耀眼的光边,上面的天空无色而明亮。那光线照到了邓布利多,落在他花白的眉毛上、胡子上,还有深深的皱纹上。
    'You've told me this before, Professor,' said Harry bluntly. He did not care about being rude. He did not care about anything very much any more.
    “十五年前,”邓布利多说,“当我看到你额头上的伤疤时,我就在猜测它意味着什么。我想它也许是你与伏地魔之间拥有某种联系的标记。”
    'Yes,' said Dumbledore apologetically. 'Yes, but you see - it is necessary to start with your scar. For it became apparent, shortly after you rejoined the magical world, that I was correct, and that your scar was giving you warnings when Voldemort was close to you, or else feeling powerful emotion.'
    “这个你以前跟我说过,教授。”哈利直截了当地说。他根本不在乎自己粗鲁的态度。他再也不在乎任何事情。
    'I know,' said Harry wearily.
    “是的,”邓布利多抱歉地说,“是的,但你看——从你的伤疤说起还是有必要的。因为很明显,在你又回到魔法世界之后不久,我的猜测已被证实,而且每当伏地魔出现在你附近的时候,你的伤疤都会给你一些预兆,或者感觉到其他强烈的情绪。”
    'And this ability of yours - to detect Voldemort's presence, even when he is disguised, and to know what he is feeling when his emotions are roused - has become more and more pronounced since Voldemort returned to his own body and his full powers.'
    “我知道。”哈利不耐烦地说。
    Harry did not bother to nod. He knew all of this already.
    “你能够感觉到伏地魔的出现,哪怕他做了伪装也是一样,在他情绪高涨的时候,你可以知道他的感觉。自从他回到他的躯体里,恢复了他的全部力量后,你的这种能力变得越来越显著。”
    'More recently,' said Dumbledore, 'I became concerned that Voldemort might realise that this connection between you exists. Sure enough, there came a time when you entered so far into his mind and thoughts that he sensed your presence. I am speaking, of course, of the night when you witnessed the attack on Mr Weasley'
    哈利没点头。邓布利多所说的这些,他早就知道了。
    'Yeah, Snape told me,' Harry muttered.
    “最近,”邓布利多接着说,“我开始担心伏地魔可能会意识到你们之间有这样一种联系。果然,有一回他察觉到了你的存在,就是你深入到他的头脑和思想里的时候,当然,我指的是你目睹韦斯莱被袭击的那个晚上。”
    'Professor Snape, Harry' Dumbledore corrected him quietly. 'But did you not wonder why it was not I who explained this to you? Why I did not teach you Occlumency? Why I had not so much as looked at you for months?'
    “没错,斯内普告诉过我。”哈利咕哝着说。
    Harry looked up. He could see now that Dumbledore looked sad and tired.
    “是斯内普教授,哈利,”邓布利多小声纠正他说,“你有没有想过,为什么不是由我来对你说明这件事情?为什么我没有亲自教你大脑封闭术?为什么我甚至几个月来都不看你一眼呢?”
    'Yeah,' Harry mumbled. 'Yeah, I wondered.'
    哈利抬起眼睛,看到邓布利多此时一脸的忧伤和疲惫。
    'You see,' Dumbledore continued, 'I believed it could not be long before Voldemort attempted to force his way into your mind, to manipulate and misdirect your thoughts, and I was not eager to give him more incentives to do so. I was sure that if he realised that our relationship was - or had ever been - closer than that of headmaster and pupil, he would seize his chance to use you as a means to spy on me. I feared the uses to which he would put you, the possibility that he might try and possess you. Harry, I believe I was right to think that Voldemort would have made use of you in such a way. On those rare occasions when we had close contact, I thought I saw a shadow of him stir behind your eyes . . .'
    “是的,”哈利喃喃地说,“是的,我想过。”
    Harry remembered the feeling that a dormant snake had risen in him, ready to strike, in those moments when he and Dumbledore had made eye-contact.
    “你看,”邓布利多继续往下说道,“伏地魔打算进入你的头脑,控制并误导你的思想,我相信他是在不久前才有这个想法的,我不想让他这种愿望变得更强烈。我相信如果他知道我们之间的关系——无论是现在还是以前,比起校长与学生之间应有的关系要亲密得多,他就会抓住这个可乘之机,利用你来暗中监视我。我担心他会利用你,担心他会设法控制你。哈利,我认为我这样想是对的,伏地魔会通过这样的方式来利用你。就在我们仅有的几次见面中,我想我看到了他的影子在你的眼睛后面晃动……”
    'Voldemort's aim in possessing you, as he demonstrated tonight, would not have been my destruction. It would have been yours. He hoped, when he possessed you briefly a short while ago, that I would sacrifice you in the hope of killing him. So you see, I have been trying, in distancing myself from you, to protect you, Harry. An old man s mistake . . ."
    哈利记起这段时间以来每当他与邓布利多的目光接触时,总是感到自己身体里有条潜伏的蛇苏醒过来,准备发动攻击。
    He sighed deeply. Harry was letting the words wash over him. He would have been so interested to know all this a few months ago, but now it was meaningless compared to the gaping chasm inside him that was the loss of Sirius; none of it mattered . . .
    “就像今晚伏地魔所证明的那样,他控制你的目的,不是为了毁灭我,而是为了毁灭你。就在刚才他暂时控制你的时候,他希望我为了干掉他而牺牲你。”
    'Sirius told me you felt Voldemort awake inside you the very night that you had the vision of Arthur Weasley's attack. I knew at once that my worst fears were correct: Voldemort had realised he could use you. In an attempt to arm you against Voldemort s assaults on your mind, I arranged Occlumency lessons with Professor Snape.'
    他深深地叹了口气。哈利无动于衷地听着这些话。如果是在几个月以前,他一定会对这些事情非常感兴趣,可是现在,与失去小天狼星而在心里产生的深深的伤口相比,这些已经毫无意义,无关紧要……
    He paused. Harry watched the sunlight, which was sliding slowly across the polished surface of Dumbledore's desk, illuminate a silver ink pot and a handsome scarlet quill. Harry could tell that the portraits all around them were awake and listening raptly to Dumbledore's explanation; he could hear the occasional rustle of robes, the slight clearing of a throat. Phineas Nigellus had still not returned . . .
    “小天狼星告诉我,就在你看到韦斯莱被袭击的那个晚上,你感觉到伏地魔在你的体内苏醒了。我马上意识到我最担心的事情应验了:伏地魔已经知道他可以利用你。为了提高你对伏地魔侵入大脑的防御能力,我安排了斯内普教授来教你大脑封闭术。”
    'Professor Snape discovered,' Dumbledore resumed, 'that you had been dreaming about the door to the Department of Mysteries for months. Voldemort, of course, had been obsessed with the possibility of hearing the prophecy ever since he regained his body; and as he dwelled on the door, so did you, though you did not     他停了一下,哈利盯着一缕阳光慢慢滑过邓布利多光滑的桌面,照亮了一个银制墨水瓶和一支鲜红色的羽毛笔。哈利能够觉察到周围的肖像都没有睡觉,正在聚精会神地倾听邓布利多的解释;他还能听到袍子偶尔发出的沙沙声和清嗓子的细小声音。菲尼亚斯·奈杰勒斯还没有回来……
    'And then you saw Rookwood, who worked in the Department of Mysteries before his arrest, telling Voldemort what we had known all along - that the prophecies held in the Ministry of Magic are
    “斯内普教授发现,”邓布利多接着说,“你几个月以来总是梦见神秘事务司的大门。当然,伏地魔自从重新获得了他的躯体之后,就一心想着能够听到预言的内容;所以当他密切注意那道门的时候,你也会同样注意的,尽管你并不知道那是什么意思。
    heavily protected. Only the people to whom they refer can lilt them from the shelves without suffering madness: in this case, either Voldemort himself would have to enter the Ministry of Magic, and risk revealing himself at last - or else you would have to take it for him. It became a matter of even greater urgency that you should master Occlumency.'
    “接着,你看到了被捕前在神秘事务司工作的卢克伍德,看到他正在告诉伏地魔我们早就知道的事情——那就是预言球放在魔法部里,被重重保护起来了,只有预言涉及到的人才可以把它们从架子上取下来,而不会受到痛苦的折磨。正是因为这样,要么是伏地魔冒着最终暴露的危险自己到魔法部去——要么就是由你来为他做这件事。所以掌握大脑封闭术成了你的当务之急。”
    'But I didn't,' muttered Harry. He said it aloud to try and ease the dead weight of guilt inside him: a confession must surely relieve some of the terrible pressure squeezing his heart. 'I didn't practise, I didn't bother, I could've stopped myself having those dreams, Hermione kept telling me to do it, if I had he'd never have been able to show me where to go, and - Sirius wouldn't - 'Sirius wouldn't - '
    “但是,我没有掌握。”哈利嘟哝着。他的声音很大,想用这种办法缓解内心沉重的罪恶感,坦白地说出来一定可以减轻一些堆积在心头的可怕压力。“我没有练习,我没有放在心上,我是能够不让自己总做这个梦的,赫敏也一直提醒我。如果我做到了,他就无法告诉我该去哪儿,还有——小天狼星也就不会——小天狼星也就不会——”
    Something was erupting inside Harry's head: a need to justify himself, to explain - '
    哈利的脑子里有什么东西迸发了:他需要证明自己,他需要解释——
    'I tried to check he'd really taken Sirius, I went to Umbridge's office, I spoke to Kreacher in the fire and he said Sirius wasn't there, he said he'd gone!'
    “我设法去调查他是否真的抓住了小天狼星,我去了乌姆里奇的办公室,我在炉火里问克利切,他说小天狼星不在,说他已经走了!”
    'Kreacher lied,' said Dumbledore calmly. 'You are not his master, he could lie to you without even needing to punish himself. Kreacher intended you to go to the Ministry of Magic.'
    “克利切在说谎。”邓布利多平静地说,“你不是他的主人,他欺骗你不用惩罚自己。克利切故意要你去魔法部。”
    'He - he sent me on purpose?'
    “他——他是故意这样做的?”
    'Oh yes. Kreacher, I am afraid, has been serving more than one master for months.'
    “哦,是的。恐怕克利切这几个月来一直是一仆二主。”
    'How?' said Harry blankly. 'He hasn't been out of Grimmauld Place for years.'
    “怎么会呢?”哈利茫然地说,“他这么多年一直没离开过格里莫广场。”
    'Kreacher seized his opportunity shortly before Christmas,' said Dumbledore, 'when Sirius, apparently, shouted at him to "get out". He took Sirius at his word, and interpreted this as an order to leave the house. He went to the only Black family member for whom he had any respect left . . . Black's cousin Narcissa, sister of Bellatrix and wife of Lucius Malfoy.'
    “就在圣诞节前夕,克利切抓住了一个短暂的机会。”邓布利多说,“小天狼星对他大喊‘滚出去’的时候,他逮住了这句话,把它曲解为是离开那座房子的命令。他去了布莱克的堂姐纳西莎那里,她是贝拉特里克斯的妹妹,也就是卢修斯·马尔福的妻子。纳西莎是惟一能让他有些敬意的布莱克家族成员……”
    'How do you know all this?' Harry said. His heart was beating very fast. He felt sick. He remembered worrying about Kreacher's odd absence over Christmas, remembered him turning up again in the attic . . .
    “你是怎么知道的?”哈利问道,心里怦怦直跳,感到很不舒服。他记起圣诞节的时候自己曾为克利切莫明其妙的失踪担心过,记起他后来又突然出现在阁楼里……
    'Kreacher told me last night,' said Dumbledore. 'You see, when
    “克利切昨天晚上告诉我的。”邓布利多说,“你知道,在你给了斯内普教授那个含义模糊的提醒之后,他意识到你已经见到小天狼星被关在神秘事务司里的情景。他,就像你一样,想马上与小天狼星取得联系。我要说明一点,凤凰社的成员们拥有比多洛雷斯·乌姆里奇办公室里的炉火还要行之有效的联络方式。斯内普教授发现,小天狼星正安然无恙地待在格里莫广场。
    you gave Professor Snape that cryptic warning, he realised that you had had a vision of Sirius trapped in the bowels of the Department of Mysteries. He, like you, attempted to contact Sirius at once. I should explain that members of the Order of the Phoenix have more reliable methods of communicating than the fire in Dolores Umbridge's office. Professor Snape found that Sirius was alive and safe in Grimmauld Place.
    “然而,斯内普教授发现你和乌姆里奇没从禁林里回来,他开始担心你仍在认为小天狼星已经成了伏地魔的俘虏。他立刻通知了几个凤凰社的成员。”
    'When, however, you did not return from your trip into the Forest with Dolores Umbridge, Professor Snape grew worried that you still believed Sirius to be a captive of Lord Voldemort's. He alerted certain Order members at once.'
    邓布利多深深地叹了口气,接着说:“当时,阿拉斯托·穆迪、尼法朵拉·唐克斯、金斯莱·沙克尔,还有莱姆斯·卢平都在总部。大家一致同意立刻行动去帮助你。因为我随时都可能按照约定到达总部,所以斯内普教授要小天狼星留下来,因为需要有人留在总部通知我发生的事情。同时,他还打算到禁林里去找你。
    Dumbledore heaved a great sigh and continued, 'Alastor Moody, Nymphadora Tonks, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Remus Lupin were at Headquarters when he made contact. All agreed to go to your aid at once. Professor Snape requested that Sirius remain behind, as he needed somebody to remain at Headquarters to tell me what had happened, for I was due there at any moment. In the meantime he, Professor Snape, intended to search the Forest for you.
    “但是小天狼星不愿意看到其他人都去找你而他却留在总部。于是他交待给克利切,让克利切告诉我发生了什么事情。他们动身去魔法部之后不久,我就到了格里莫广场,是家养小精灵告诉我小天狼星去了哪儿。当时他都快要笑破肚皮了。”
    'But Sirius did not wish to remain behind while the others went to search for you. He delegated to Kreacher the task of telling me what had happened. And so it was that when I arrived in Grimmauld Place shortly after they had all left for the Ministry, it was the elf who told me - laughing fit to burst - where Sirius had gone.'
    “他在笑?”哈利声音低沉地问。
    'He was laughing?' said Harry in a hollow voice.
    “哦,是的,”邓布利多说,“你知道,克利切不能完全背叛我们。他不是凤凰社的保密人,无法告诉马尔福我们在何处,或者告诉他们已经禁止他泄露的一些凤凰社的机密计划。他被他同类的魔法束缚着,也就是说他不能够违背主人小天狼星的直接命令。而他告诉纳西莎的那些对伏地魔非常有用的情报,在小天狼星看来却都是些很不起眼的小事,用不着考虑不许他说出去。”
    'Oh, yes,' said Dumbledore. 'You see, Kreacher was not able to betray us totally. He is not Secret Keeper for the Order, he could not give the Malfoy's our whereabouts, or tell them any of the Order's confidential plans that he had been forbidden to reveal. He was bound by the enchantments of his kind, which is to say that he could not disobey a direct order from his master, Sirius. But he gave Narcissa information of the sort that is very valuable lo Voldemort, yet must have seemed much too trivial for Sirius to think of banning him from repeating it.'
    “你指的是什么?”哈利问。
    'Like what?' said Harry.
    “比如小天狼星在这个世界上最关心的人就是你。”邓布利多轻轻地说道,“还有你把小天狼星当作自己的父亲和兄长这样的事实。伏地魔当然早就知道小天狼星在凤凰社里,也早就知道你清楚他在什么地方——但是,克利切的情报让他意识到小天狼星布莱克是一个你可以舍身搭救的人。”
    'Like the fact that the person Sirius cared most about in the world was you,' said Dumbledore quietly. 'Like the fact that you were coming to regard Sirius as a mixture of father and brother.
    哈利的嘴唇又冷又木。
    Voldemort knew already, of course, that Sirius was in the Order, and that you knew where he was - but Kreacher's information made him realise that the one person for whom you would go to any lengths to rescue was Sirius Black.'
    “所以……昨天晚上我问克利切小天狼星是不是在家的时候……”
    Harry's lips were cold and numb.
    “马尔福——一定是按照伏地魔的指示——要求他,当你一旦梦到小天狼星受折磨被拷问的情景,他必须设法不让小天狼星成为绊脚石。所以,你想确定一下小天狼星是不是在家,克利切就会说他不在家。克利切昨天打伤了鹰头马身有翼兽巴克比克,而你在火里出现的时候,小天狼星正在楼上照料他。”
    'So . . . when I asked Kreacher if Sirius was there last night . . .'
    哈利好像缺氧一样,呼吸急切而短促。
    The Malfoy's - undoubtedly on Voldemort's instructions - had told him he must find a way of keeping Sirius out of the way once you had seen the vision of Sirius being tortured. Then, if you decided to check whether Sirius was at home or not, Kreacher would be able to pretend he was not. Kreacher injured Buckbeak the Hippogriff yesterday, and, at the moment when you made your appearance in the fire, Sirius was upstairs tending to him.'
    “是克利切告诉你这一切的……他还笑着?”他嘶哑地问。
    There seemed to be very little air in Harry's lungs; his breathing was quick and shallow.
    “他不愿意告诉我,”邓布利多说,“但是我的摄神取念技艺已颇有成就,别人对我撒谎的时候我是知道的,我——我劝他——在我去神秘事务司之前,说出事情的全部经过。”
    'And Kreacher told you all this . . . and laughed?' he croaked.
    “还有,”哈利小声说,他冰凉的手,攥成拳头放在膝盖上,“还有赫敏一直要我们好好对待他——”
    'He did not wish to tell me,' said Dumbledore. 'But I am a sufficiently accomplished Legilimens myself to know when I am being lied to and I - persuaded him - to tell me the full story, before I left for the Department of Mysteries.'
    “她说得很对,哈利。”邓布利多说,“当我们选择格里莫广场12号作为总部的时候,我就提醒过小天狼星一定要尊重和善待克利切。我也跟他讲过克利切可能会对我们不利。但我想小天狼星并没有把我的话放在心上,或者,他总是把克利切看作是跟人类拥有同样敏感情绪的一种生物——”
    'And,' whispered Harry, his hands curled in cold fists on his knees, 'and Hermione kept telling us to be nice to him - '
    “难道你是在责怪——难道你——把小天狼星说成——”哈利有些喘不过气来,他无法准确地表达;但是刚刚才平息的怒火又在他心里燃烧起来,他不能允许邓布利多诋毁小天狼星,“克利切是个骗子——肮脏的——他罪有应得——”
    'She was quite right, Harry,' said Dumbledore. 'I warned Sirius when we adopted twelve Grimmauld Place as our Headquarters that Kreacher must be treated with kindness and respect. I also told him that Kreacher could be dangerous to us. I do not think Sirius took me very seriously, or that he ever saw Kreacher as a being with feelings as acute as a human's - '
    “克利切是由巫师变出来的,哈利,”邓布利多说,“所以,他是让人同情的,他的存在就如同你的朋友多比一样可怜。他不得不服从小天狼星的命令,因为小天狼星是他所侍奉的家庭中剩下的最后一个人,但他并不是真心真意对他忠诚。不管克利切犯了什么错,都必须承认小天狼星没有做过任何能够改善他命运的事情——”
    'Don't you blame - don't you - talk - about Sirius like - ' Harry's breath was constricted, he could not get the words out properly; but the rage that had subsided briefly flared in him again: he would not let Dumbledore criticise Sirius. 'Kreacher's a lying - foul - he deserved - '
    “不要这样说小天狼星!”哈利大喊。
    'Kreacher is what he has been made by wizards, Harry,' said Dumbledore. 'Yes, he is to be pitied. His existence has been as miserable as your friend Dobby's. He was forced to do Sirius's bidding, because Sirius was the last of the family to which he was enslaved, but he felt no true loyalty to him. And whatever Kreacher's faults, it must be admitted that Sirius did nothing to make Kreacher's lot easier - '
    他又站了起来,火冒三丈,准备冲上去狠狠教训邓布利多一顿。显然他根本不了解小天狼星,不知道他有多么勇敢,不知道他曾经历了多少苦难……
    'DON'T TALK ABOUT SIRIUS LIKE THAT!' Harry yelled.
    “那斯内普呢?”哈利反驳道,“你还没有提到他,不是吗?当我告诉他伏地魔抓了小天狼星的时候,他只是跟平时一样地嘲笑我!——”
    He was on his feet again, furious, ready to fly at Dumbledore, who had plainly not understood Sirius at all, how brave he was, how much he had suffered . . .
    “哈利,你知道的,当着多洛雷斯·乌姆里奇的面,斯内普教授别无选择,只能装着对你的话满不在乎。”邓布利多从容地说,“然而正如我刚才所说的,他尽可能快地把你所说的一切通知了凤凰社成员。你没有从禁林里回来,是他推测出你的去向。当乌姆里奇教授试图逼你说出小天狼星下落的时候,也是他给了她假的吐真剂。”
    'What about Snape?' Harry spat. 'You're not talking about him, are you? When I told him Voldemort had Sirius he just sneered at me as usual - '
    哈利根本不理会这些,他在谴责斯内普的过程中,心里有一种痛快淋漓的快感,似乎这样能够缓解他那可怕的罪恶感,同时他还希望邓布利多能够附和他。
    'Harry you know Professor Snape had no choice but to pretend not to take you seriously in front of Dolores Umbridge,' said Dumbledore steadily, 'but as I have explained, he informed the Order as soon as possible about what you had said. It was he who deduced where you had gone when you did not return from the Forest. It was he, too, who gave Professor Umbridge fake Veritaserum when she was attempting to force you to tell her Sirius's whereabouts.'
    “斯内普——斯内普唆使小天狼星留下来待在家里——他把小天狼星当作胆小鬼了——”
    Harry disregarded this; he felt a savage pleasure in blaming Snape, it seemed to be easing his own sense of dreadful guilt, and he wanted to hear Dumbledore agree with him.
    “小天狼星年纪不小了,而且相当精明,他不会让这样的小小奚落影响到自己。”邓布利多说。
    'Snape - Snape g - goaded Sirius about staying in the house - 'he made out Sirius was a coward - '
    “斯内普没有继续教我大脑封闭术!”哈利气呼呼地大喊,“他把我赶出了他的办公室!”
    'Sirius was much too old and clever to have allowed such feeble taunts to hurt him,' said Dumbledore.
    “这事我知道。”邓布利多沉重地说,“我已经说过我没有亲自教你是个错误,虽然在那个时候,我确信,在我面前没有什么比向伏地魔进一步暴露你的思想更危险——”
    'Snape stopped giving me Occlumency lessons!' Harry snarled. 'He threw me out of his office!'
    “斯内普把事情搞得越来越糟,我的伤疤在上完他的课之后总是疼得更加厉害——”哈利记起罗恩对这门课的想法,接着补充说,“——你怎么知道他没有设法让我降低对伏地魔的防御能力,以便使伏地魔更容易入侵到我的——”
    'I am aware of it,' said Dumbledore heavily. 'I have already said that it was a mistake for me not to teach you myself, though I was sure, at the time, that nothing could have been more dangerous than to open your mind even further to Voldemort while in my presence - '
    “我信任西弗勒斯·斯内普,”邓布利多简单地说,“但是我忘记了老年人的另一个错误——有些伤口太深,不容易愈合。我以为斯内普教授能够克服他对你父亲的感觉——我错了。”
    'Snape made it worse, my scar always hurt worse after lessons with him - ' Harry remembered Ron's thoughts on the subject and plunged on '- how do you know he wasn't trying to soften me up for Voldemort, make it easier for him to get inside my - '
    “那就是了,不是吗?”哈利吼道,压根儿没有在意墙上那些令人厌恶的肖像们的表情和小声嘀咕的责难声,“斯内普讨厌我爸爸就可以,而小天狼星讨厌克利切就不行?”
    'I trust Severus Snape,' said Dumbledore simply. 'But I forgot - another old man's mistake - that some wounds run too deep for the healing. I thought Professor Snape could overcome his feelings about your father - I was wrong.'
    “小天狼星没有不喜欢克利切,”邓布利多说,“他只是把他看作是个不值得过多留意或更多关心的佣人。可是漠不关心,还有视而不见,往往会比直截了当的厌恶造成的伤害大得多……今天晚上我们摧毁的那个喷泉说了一个谎。我们这些巫师长期以来虐待、谩骂我们的伙伴,现在我们是自食其果。”
    'But that's OK, is it?' yelled Harry, ignoring the scandalised faces and disapproving mutterings of the portraits on the walls. 'It's OK: for Snape to hate my dad, but it's not OK for Sirius to hate Kreacher?'
    “你是说小天狼星罪有应得,是不是?”哈利狂吼着。
    'Sirius did not hate Kreacher,' said Dumbledore. 'He regarded him as a servant unworthy of much interest or notice. Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike . . . the fountain we destroyed tonight told a lie. We wizards have mistreated and abused our fellows for too long, and we are now reaping our reward.'
    “我没有这样说,你也永远不会听到我说这样的话。”邓布利多轻轻地回答道,“小天狼星不是一个冷酷的人,他通常对家养小精灵是很好的。他不喜欢克利切,因为克利切是他所讨厌的那个家庭的一个活的记忆。”
    'SO SIRIUS DESERVED WHAT HE GOT, DID HE?' Harry yelled.
    “所以,他讨厌他!”哈利粗声粗气地说,没理邓布利多就径自走开了。此刻,房间里的光线很明亮,所有肖像的目光都盯在他身上,没有人知道他要做什么,也没有人看这间办公室。“你让他留下来做牢似的待在屋子里,而他讨厌这样,所以他昨天晚上想要出来——”
    'I did not say that, nor will you ever hear me say it,' Dumbledore: replied quietly. 'Sirius was not a cruel man, he was kind to house - 'elves in general. He had no love for Kreacher, because Kreacher was a living reminder of the home Sirius had hated.'
    “我一直在努力保护小天狼星。”邓布利多轻轻地说。
    'Yeah, he did hate it!' said Harry, his voice cracking, turning his back on Dumbledore and walking away. The sun was bright inside the room now and the eyes of all the portraits followed him as he walked, without realising what he was doing, without seeing the office at all. 'You made him stay shut up in that house and he hated it, that's why he wanted to get out last night - '
    “可是没有人喜欢被锁起来!”哈利气恼到极点,反驳道,“去年整个夏天你就是这样对待我的——”
    'I was trying to keep Sirius alive,' said Dumbledore quietly.
    邓布利多闭上了眼睛,把脸埋在手指修长的双手里。哈利注视着他。这是一种反常的表现,但无论是出于精疲力竭,还是痛苦难过,抑或是出于其他任何情绪,都没有使哈利的火气和缓下来。相反,邓布利多流露出来的软弱表现,更加让他感到愤怒。当哈利想要对他发火、冲他怒吼的时候,他没有理由表现得不坚强。
    'People don't like being locked up!' Harry said furiously, rounding on him. 'You did it to me all last summer - '
    邓布利多放下双手,从他那半月形的眼镜里审视着哈利。
    Dumbledore closed his eyes and buried his face in his long-fingered hands. Harry watched him, but this uncharacteristic sign of exhaustion, or sadness, or whatever it was from Dumbledore, did not soften him. On the contrary, he felt even angrier that Dumbledore was showing signs of weakness. He had no business being weak when Harry wanted to rage and storm at him.
    “是时候了,”他说道,“是我应该告诉你早在五年前就应该跟你说的事情了。请坐下,我会告诉你所有的事情。我只要求你有一点点耐心。然后你可以对我发火——可以做你想做的任何事情——在我说完之后,我不会阻止你。”
    Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses.
    哈利目不转睛地盯了一会儿邓布利多,接着快速回到邓布利多对面的椅子上坐下来,等着他开口。
    'It is time,' he said, 'for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything. I ask only a little patience. You will have your chance to rage at me - to do whatever you like - when I have finished. I will not stop you.'
    邓布利多凝望着窗外洒满阳光的地面,过了一会儿目光又回到哈利身上。他说:“哈利,五年前,正如我计划和希望的那样,你安然无恙地来到霍格沃茨。哦——并不是完全安然无恙,你受苦了。当我把你留在你姨父、姨妈家门口的时候,我就知道你会受苦。我知道这样做会注定你要经历黑暗而艰辛的十年。”
    Harry glared at him for a moment, then flung himself back into the chair opposite Dumbledore and waited.
    他停顿了一下,哈利没有说话。
    Dumbledore stared for a moment at the sunlit grounds outside the window, then looked back at Harry and said, 'Five years ago you arrived at Hogwarts, Harry, safe and whole, as I had planned and intended. Well - not quite whole. You had suffered. I knew you would when I left you on your aunt and uncle's doorstep. I knew I was condemning you to ten dark and difficult years.'
    “你也许要问——而且有很好的理由来问——为什么事情会是这样的。为什么一些巫师家庭不能收留你?许多家庭不仅仅乐意这样做,而且把你当作自己的儿子来抚养,他们会感到荣幸和快乐。
    He paused. Harry said nothing.
    “我的回答是,我首要考虑的是要让你生存下来。我知道你可能会比其他任何人的处境都危险。伏地魔几个小时前被打败了,但是他的那些支持者还在逍遥法外,他们都是愤怒而残暴的亡命之徒,并且他们中的很多人都像伏地魔一样可怕。我需要提前几年对以后的若干年做出决定。难道我会真的相信伏地魔永远消失了吗?不。我不相信。我虽然不知道他会什么时候回来,十年,二十年,或者是五十年之后,但是我确信他一定会回来的,而且就我对他的了解,我也确信他在干掉你之前是绝不会坐以待毙的。
    'You might ask - and with good reason - why it had to be so. Why could some wizarding family not have taken you in? Many would have done so more than gladly, would have been honoured and delighted to raise you as a son.
    “我知道伏地魔的魔法知识可能比现在任何活着的巫师都更为广博。我也知道,一旦他恢复了全部魔力,恐怕就算我使用最复杂、最强大的咒语都不一定能打过他。
    'My answer is that my priority was to keep you alive. You were in more danger than perhaps anyone but I realised. Voldemort had been vanquished hours before, but his supporters - and many of them are almost as terrible as he - were still at large, angry, desperate and violent. And I had to make my decision, too, with regard to the years ahead. Did I believe that Voldemort was gone for ever? No. I knew not whether it would be ten, twenty or fifty years before he returned, but I was sure he would do so, and I was sure, too, knowing him as I have done, that he would not rest until he killed you.
    “但是,我也了解伏地魔的弱点在哪里。所以我决定,应该用古老的魔法保护你。他了解这种魔法,瞧不起这种魔法,而且他一贯轻视低估这种魔法——也正因为这样,他为此付出了代价,我当然是指你的母亲为了救你而舍去了生命。她给了你一个意想不到的持久的保护,这个保护直到今天仍在你的血液里流淌。所以,我信任你母亲的血统。我把你交给了她的姐姐,她惟一尚存的亲人。”
    'I knew that Voldemort's knowledge of magic is perhaps more extensive than any wizard alive. I knew that even my most complex and powerful protective spells and charms were unlikely to be invincible if he ever returned to full power.
    “她不喜欢我。”哈利立刻说,“她没有给我一点——”
    'But I knew, too, where Voldemort was weak. And so I made my decision. You would be protected by an ancient magic of which he knows, which he despises, and which he has always, therefore, underestimated - to his cost. I am speaking, of course, of the fact that your mother died to save you. She gave you a lingering protection he never expected, a protection that flows in your veins to this day. I put my trust, therefore, in your mother's blood. I delivered you to her sister, her only remaining relative.'
    “但是她收留了你,”邓布利多打断了他,“她可能是不情愿,不高兴,很勉强、抱怨地收留了你,但她毕竟接纳了你,在此过程中,她还保存了我给你所施的咒语。你母亲的牺牲使得血缘的纽带成为我能够给你的最强大的保护屏。”
    'She doesn't love me,' said Harry at once. 'She doesn't give a damn - '
    “我还是不——”
    'But she took you,' Dumbledore cut across him. 'She may have taken you grudgingly, furiously, unwillingly, bitterly, yet still she took you, and in doing so, she sealed the charm I placed upon you. Your mother's sacrifice made the bond of blood the strongest shield I could give you.'
    “只要你还能把有你母亲血液存在的地方称为家,在那里你就不会受到伏地魔的干扰或是伤害。伏地魔使她的血流了出来,但那血液仍存在于你和她姐姐的身上。她的血液成了你的避难所。只要你还称它为家,你就需要每年回去一次。同时只要你在那里,伏地魔就无法伤害你。你的姨妈知道这一点。我把信留在了她家的门口,并且在信中讲明了我对你所做的一切,她知道把你留在家里完全可以确保你在过去的十五年里平安无事。”
    'I still don't - '
    “等等,”哈利说,“等一下。”他直起身子端坐在椅子上,注视着邓布利多。“是你送去了那封吼叫信,你告诉她要记得——那是你的声音——”
    'While you can still call home the place where your mother's blood dwells, there you cannot be touched or harmed by Voldemort. He shed her blood, but it lives on in you and her sister. Her blood became your refuge. You need return there only once a year, but as long as you can still call it home, whilst you are there he cannot hurt you. Your aunt knows this. I explained what I had done in the letter I left, with you, on her doorstep. She knows that allowing you houseroom may well have kept you alive for the past fifteen years.'
    “我想,”邓布利多稍微歪了一下头说,“她也许需要被提醒一下,她曾经做出过的收留你的承诺。我怀疑摄魂怪的袭击可能会提醒她意识到收养你是件危险的事情。”
    'Wait,' said Harry. 'Wait a moment.'
    “那封信确实起作用了,”哈利喃喃地说,“是的,我的姨父比她有过之而无不及。他想把我赶出去,但收到吼叫信后她——她说我得留下来。”
    He sat up straighter in his chair, staring at Dumbledore.
    哈利盯了地板一会儿,接着说:“但是这跟……有什么关系呢?”
    'You sent that Howler. You told her to remember - it was your voice - '
    他说不出小天狼星的名字。
    'I thought,' said Dumbledore, inclining his head slightly, 'that she might need reminding of the pact she had sealed by taking you. I suspected the Dementor attack might have awoken her to the dangers of having you as a surrogate son.'
    “五年前,”邓布利多继续说,好像他没有在他的故事中停顿过,“你来到霍格沃茨,没有像我希望的那样快乐和茁壮,但还算得上健康有活力。你不是一个被宠坏了的小王子,而是一个在那种环境下我能够想象得出的普通孩子。直到那个时候,我的计划进行得还算不错。
    'It did,' said Harry quietly. 'Well - my uncle more than her. He wanted to chuck me out, but after the Howler came she - she said I had to stay.'
    “接着……我想,你会跟我一样清楚地记得你在霍格沃茨第一年里所发生的事情。你发现自己正与伏地魔进行着面对面的较量,你奋起抵抗,表现得相当出色,这比起我对你的预期要快得多。你再一次从生死关走了出来。不仅如此,你还拖延了他恢复魔力的时间。你打了一场真正男子汉的战斗。我……我为你而骄傲,这种感觉无法用语言来形容。”
    He stared at the floor for a moment, then said, 'But what's this got to do with - '
    哈利点了点头。
    He could not say Sirius's name.
    “我是否那时就应该把全部事情告诉你呢?”
    'Five years ago, then,' continued Dumbledore, as though he had not paused in his story, 'you arrived at Hogwarts, neither as happy nor as well-nourished as I would have liked, perhaps, yet alive and healthy. You were not a pampered little prince, but as normal a boy as I could have hoped under the circumstances. Thus far, my plan was working well.
    哈利直勾勾地望着那双蓝色的眼睛,什么话也没有说,但是他的心跳又加速了。
    'And then . . . well, you will remember the events of your first year at Hogwarts quite as clearly as I do. You rose magnificently to the challenge that faced you and sooner - much sooner - than I had anticipated, you found yourself face to face with Voldemort. You survived again. You did more. You delayed his return to full power and strength. You fought a man's fight. I was . . . prouder of you than I can say.
    “你还没有看出这个计划的破绽在哪里?是的……可能还没有。好,正如你了解的那样,我决定不给你答案。我对自己说,十一岁,年龄太小,不能知道这些。我从来没有打算过在你十一岁的时候就对你说出全部的事情,因为那些对于像你这样大小的孩子来说是无法接受的。
    'Yet there was a flaw in this wonderful plan of mine,' said Dumbledore. 'An obvious flaw that I knew, even then, might be the undoing of it all. And yet, knowing how important it was that my plan should succeed, I told myself that I would not permit this flaw to ruin it. I alone could prevent this, so I alone must be strong. And here was my first test, as you lay in the hospital wing, weak from your struggle with Voldemort.'
    “我那时本应该意识到那些危险的征兆。我应该问一下自己,对于那个我知道总有一天要给你一个可怕答案的问题,为什么在你问我的时候,我却并没有感到有太多的不安?我应该意识到,在那个特殊的日子里,我不能把所有的话都讲给你听……因为你太小了,真的是太小了,我的这种想法是过于乐观了。
    'I don't understand what you're saying,' said Harry.
    “接着,我们进入了你在霍格沃茨的第二个年头。你再一次面临了挑战,而这个挑战甚至连成年巫师都没有面对过,我做梦也想不到,你再一次脱险了。然而,你没有再问过我,为什么伏地魔会在你身上留下那个记号。我们在讨论你的伤疤,哦,是的……我们已经越来越接近主题了。为什么我没有把每一件事情都说给你听呢?
    'Don't you remember asking me, as you lay in the hospital wing, why Voldemort had tried to kill you when you were a baby?'
    “是这样,在我看来,对于接受这样的事情,毕竟十二岁比起十一岁来也强不了多少。我让你走开了,当时你血迹斑斑,疲惫不堪,却很开心很兴奋。即使当时我感到有些愧疚,觉得我或许早应该告诉你,但这份愧疚很快就平静下来。你还是太小了,你知道的,我不能够让自己破坏了那天晚上的胜利气氛……
    Harry nodded.
    “你现在发现了吗,哈利?你现在发现了我这个卓越的计划中的破绽了吗?我已经陷进了我曾经预见到的圈套里,但我曾经对自己说,我能够避免,我必须避免。”
    'Ought I to have told you then?'
    “我不——”
    Harry stared into the blue eyes and said nothing, but his heart was racing again.
    “我太担心你了,”邓布利多直截了当地说,“比起让你知道事实真相,我更在乎你的幸福与快乐;比起我的计划,我更在乎你心境的平和;比起计划一旦失败而要做出的牺牲,我更在乎你的生命。换句话说,伏地魔期望我们这些傻瓜去做我们乐意做的事情,而我的做法恰好完全符合他的意愿。
    'You do not see the flaw in the plan yet? No . . . perhaps not. Well, as you know, I decided not to answer you. Eleven, I told myself, was much too young to know. I had never intended to tell you when you were eleven. The knowledge would be too much at such a young age.
    “有没有防御的办法呢?我不让其他任何人像我一样关注你——你想象不到我是多么密切地关注着你——不想让你遭受到更多的苦难。我关心的是在不确定的将来,会不会有些不知名的、未曾露过面的人和生物被杀害,在这里,此时此刻,你的生命是否安全,是否过得好,是否开心?我从来没有想到我会这样将一个人放在手心里。
    'I should have recognised the danger signs then. I should have asked myself why I did not feel more disturbed that you had already asked me the question to which I knew, one day, I must give a terrible answer. I should have recognised that I was too happy to think that I did not have to do it on that particular day . . . you were too young, much too young.
    “我们进入了你的第三个年头。当你奋力击退摄魂怪的时候,当你发现了小天狼星、了解到他是个怎样的人并且搭救了他的时候,我都在远远地注视着你。就在你成功地从魔法部手中救出你的教父的时候,我是不是该告诉你了呢?就是那时,就在你十三岁的时候,我的借口已经用完了。你也许还小,但是你已经证明自己并不一般。我的内心开始不安,哈利,我知道那个时刻很快就要到了……
    'And so we entered your second year at Hogwarts. And once again you met challenges even grown wizards have never faced; once again you acquitted yourself beyond my wildest dreams. You did not ask me again, however, why Voldemort had left that mark on you. We discussed your scar, oh yes . . . we came very, very close to the subject. Why did I not tell you everything;
    “但是去年,你从迷宫里走出来,目睹了塞德里克·迪戈里之死,而你也是死里逃生……我没有告诉你,尽管我知道,伏地魔回来了,我必须尽快告诉你。而现在,今天晚上,我知道,对于我长期以来一直对你隐瞒的事情,你已经早就做好了准备,因为你已经证明了,早在今晚的事情之前,我就应该让你挑起这个重担。我惟一的辩解就是:我看到你背负的重担比以往从这个学校毕业的任何学生都多,而你在这样的重负下努力奋斗,我不能再给你多加上一副重担——那是所有之中最沉重的一副。”
    'Well, it seemed to me that twelve was, after all, hardly better than eleven to receive such information. I allowed you to leave my presence, bloodstained, exhausted but exhilarated, and if I felt a twinge of unease that I ought, perhaps, to have told you then, it was swiftly silenced. You were still so young, you see, and I could not find it in myself to spoil that night of triumph . . .
    哈利等着邓布利多继续讲下去,但是邓布利多没再说话。
    'Do you see, Harry? Do you see the flaw in my brilliant plan now? I had fallen into the trap I had foreseen, that I had told myself I could avoid, that I must avoid.'
    “我还是不明白。”
    'I don't - '
    “伏地魔之所以要在你还是个婴儿的时候就干掉你,都是源于你出生前不久的一个预言。尽管他并不是完全了解这个预言的内容,但是他知道有这样一个预言。所以当你还是个婴儿的时候,他就动手要杀你,他相信这样做是在实现这个预言中陈述的事情。他试图用咒语把你杀死在见不得人的恼怒中,并为此付出了沉重的代价,之后他才发现自己错了。所以自从他回到自己的躯体,特别是自从你去年出人意料地从他手中逃脱之后,他下定决心一定要听到这个预言的全部内容。这就是他自从回来之后一直坚持不懈、努力寻找的武器:除掉你的办法。”
    'I cared about you too much,' said Dumbledore simply. 'I cared more for your happiness than your knowing the truth, more for your peace of mind than my plan, more for your life than the lives that might be lost if the plan failed. In other words, I acted exactly as Voldemort expects we fools who love to act.
    太阳已经完全升起来了,邓布利多的办公室沐浴在阳光里。装有戈德里克·格兰芬多的宝剑的玻璃容器隐约闪烁出朦胧的白光,被哈利摔在地上的银器碎片如雨滴一般闪耀着光芒,在他身后,那只凤凰的雏鸟在自己铺满灰烬的窝巢里呢喃。
    'Is there a defence? I defy anyone who has watched you as I have - and I have watched you more closely than you can have imagined - not to want to save you more pain than you had already suffered. What did I care if numbers of nameless and faceless people and creatures were slaughtered in the vague future, if in the here and now you were alive, and well, and happy? I never dreamed that I would have such a person on my hands.
    “那个预言球被打碎了,”哈利茫然地说,“就在那间有拱门的屋子里,我使劲把纳威拖上台阶的时候,我拽破了他的袍子,那个预言球落了下来……”
    'We entered your third year. I watched from afar as you struggled to repel Dementors, as you found Sirius, learned what he was and rescued him. Was I to tell you then, at the moment when you had triumphantly snatched your godfather from the jaws of the Ministry? But now, at the age of thirteen, my excuses were running out. Young you might be, but you had proved you were exceptional. My conscience was uneasy, Harry. I knew the time must come soon . . .
    “打碎的只是保存在神秘事务司里的一个预言记录。而这个预言是为某个人定制的,那个人有办法重新唤回它所有的内容。”
    'But you came out of the maze last year, having watched Cedric Diggory die, having escaped death so narrowly yourself . . . and I did not tell you, though I knew, now Voldemort had returned, I must do it soon. And now, tonight, I know you have long been ready for the knowledge I have kept from you for so long, because you have proved that I should have placed the burden upon you
    “是谁听到的?”哈利问,尽管他想他已经知道了答案。
    before this. My only defence is this: I have watched you struggling under more burdens than any student who has ever passed through this school and I could not bring myself to add another - the greatest one of all.'
    “是我听到的。”邓布利多说,“在十六年前的一个又冷又湿的夜晚,在霍格莫德的猪头酒吧里。我去那里是为了见一个想做占卜课老师的申请人,虽然这根本不符合我打算让占卜课继续进行下去的意愿。可那个申请人是一个非常知名的、天分很高的先知的玄孙女,所以我想去见她也是通常的礼节。但是,我很失望。在我看来,她一点儿也没有继承那份天赋。但愿我是彬彬有礼地告诉她,她不适合这个职位。接着我就转身走了。”
    Harry waited, but Dumbledore did not speak.
    邓布利多站起身来,从哈利身边走过去,来到凤凰栖木旁边的一个黑色柜子前。他弯下身子,抽下门闩从里面取出了一个浅底的石盆,石盆的边缘刻有古文字,就是在这石盆的里面,哈利曾经见到自己的父亲在捉弄斯内普。邓布利多回到他的办公桌前,把冥想盆放在桌子上,然后举起他的魔杖指向太阳穴,抽出几缕银色的、如同蛛网般纤细的思想纤维粘在魔杖上面,又把这些思想纤维放进石盆里。他回到桌子后面坐下,注视着他的思想在冥想盆里旋转,飘浮。过了一会儿,他叹了口气,又举起魔杖,将这些银丝般的物质挑在杖尖。
    'I still don't understand.'
    一个人影从里面冒出来,围着披肩,她的眼睛在眼镜后面显得格外的大,她慢慢地旋转,她的脚在冥想盆里。但当西比尔·特里劳妮开口说话时,哈利听到的不是她通常用的那种空灵而玄妙的声音,而是哈利以前有一次曾听到过的那种刺耳的、嘶哑的声音:
    'Voldemort tried to kill you when you were a child because of a prophecy made shortly before your birth. He knew the prophecy had been made, though he did not know its full contents. He set out to kill you when you were still a baby, believing he was fulfilling the terms of the prophecy. He discovered, to his cost, that he was mistaken, when the curse intended to kill you backfired. And so, since his return to his body, and particularly since your extraordinary escape from him last year, he has been determined to hear that prophecy in its entirety. This is the weapon he has been seeking so assiduously since his return: the knowledge of how to destroy you.'
    “拥有征服黑魔头能量的人走近了……出生在一个曾三次击败黑魔头的家庭……生于第七个月月末……黑魔头标记他为其劲敌,但是他拥有黑魔头所不了解的能量……一个必须死在另一个手上,因为两个人不能都活着,只有一个生存下来……那个拥有征服黑魔头能量的人将于第七个月结束时出生……”
    The sun had risen fully now: Dumbledore's office was bathed in it. The glass case in which the sword of Godric Gryffindor resided gleamed white and opaque, the fragments of the instruments Harry had thrown to the floor glistened like raindrops, and behind him, the baby Fawkes made soft chirruping noises in his nest of ashes.
    缓慢旋转的特里劳妮教授又沉浸在下面的银丝团里不见了。
    The prophecy's smashed,' Harry said blankly. 'I was pulling Neville up those benches in the - the room where the archway was, and I ripped his robes and it fell . . .'
    办公室里静悄悄的。邓布利多、哈利,还有所有的肖像,谁也没有发出一丁点的声响,就连凤凰也安静下来。
    The thing that smashed was merely the record of the prophecy kept by the Department of Mysteries. But the prophecy was made to somebody, and that person has the means of recalling it perfectly.'
    “邓布利多教授?”哈利很轻很轻地叫了一声,因为邓布利多仍在凝视着冥想盆,似乎整个人都陷入了沉思当中,“它……它是说……它是什么意思?”
    'Who heard it?' asked Harry, though he thought he knew the answer already.
    “它的意思是,”邓布利多说,“那个仅仅有一次机会可以永远征服伏地魔的人,出生在近十六年前的七月底。这个男孩的父母曾三次击败过伏地魔。”
    'I did,' said Dumbledore. 'On a cold, wet night sixteen years ago, in a room above the bar at the Hog's Head inn. I had gone there to see an applicant for the post of Divination teacher, though it was against my inclination to allow the subject of Divination to continue at all. The applicant, however, was the great-great-granddaughter of a very famous, very gifted Seer and I thought it common politeness to meet her. I was disappointed. It seemed to me that she had not a trace of the gift herself. I told her, courteously I hope, that I did not think she would be suitable for the post. I turned to leave.'
    哈利感到好像有什么东西紧紧地捆在自己的身上。他的呼吸似乎又变得困难了。
    Dumbledore got to his feet and walked past Harry to the black cabinet that stood beside Fawkes's perch. He bent down, slid back a catch and took from inside it the shallow stone basin, carved with runes around the edges, in which Harry had seen his father tormenting Snape. Dumbledore walked back to the desk, placed the Pensieve upon it, and raised his wand to his own temple. From it, he withdrew silvery, gossamer-fine strands of thought clinging to the wand and deposited them into the basin. He sat back down behind his desk and watched his thoughts swirl and drift inside the Pensieve for a moment. Then, with a sigh, he raised his wand and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
    “它的意思——我?”
    A figure rose out of it, draped in shawls, her eyes magnified to enormous size behind her glasses, and she revolved slowly, her feet in the basin. But when Sybill Trelawney spoke, it was not in her usual ethereal, mystic voice, but in the harsh, hoarse tones Harry had heard her use once before:
    邓布利多透过眼镜,打量了他一会儿。
    'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches . . . born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies . . . and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not . . . and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives . . . the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies . . .'
    “哈利。”他轻轻地说,“令人奇怪的是它也许指的根本不是你。西比尔的预言可以适用于两个巫师男孩的身上,他们都是在那一年的七月底出生的,他们的父母都在凤凰社,而且都曾经三次从伏地魔的手中死里逃生。一个当然是你,另一个则是纳威·隆巴顿。”
    The slowly revolving Professor Trelawney sank back into the silver mass below and vanished.
    “但是……但是,为什么是我的名字出现在预言里,而不是纳威的?”
    The silence within the office was absolute. Neither Dumbledore nor Harry nor any of the portraits made a sound. Even Fawkes had fallen silent.
    “在你还是小孩子的时候,伏地魔袭击你之后,官方记录重新做了标签。”邓布利多说,“在预言厅的保管员看来,显而易见伏地魔想要杀死的只有你,因为他知道你就是西比尔所指的那个人。”
    'Professor Dumbledore?' Harry said very quietly, for Dumbledore, still staring at the Pensieve, seemed completely lost in thought. 'It . . . did that mean . . . what did that mean?'
    “可是——那也有可能不是我啊?”哈利说。
    'It meant,' said Dumbledore, 'that the person who has the only chance of conquering Lord Voldemort for good was born at the end of July, nearly sixteen years ago. This boy would be born to parents who had already defied Voldemort three times.'
    “我想,”邓布利多慢慢地说道,好像每说出一个字都要让他付出很大的气力,“恐怕那个人无疑就是你。”
    Harry felt as though something was closing in on him. His breathing seemed difficult again.
    “但是,你刚才说——纳威也是生在七月底——而且他的爸爸妈妈——”
    'It means - me?'
    “你忘记了预言中的下半部分内容,那个能够征服伏地魔的男孩的最终鉴别特征……伏地魔本人标记他为其劲敌。他这样做了,哈利。他选择的是你,而不是纳威。他在你的额头上留下了这道已经被验证为既是祝福又是诅咒的伤疤。”
    Dumbledore surveyed him for a moment through his glasses.
    “但是他有可能选择错了!”哈利说,“或者是标错了人!”
    The odd thing, Harry,' he said softly, 'is that it may not have meant you at all. Sybill's prophecy could have applied to two wizard boys, both born at the end of July that year, both of whom had parents in the Order of the Phoenix, both sets of parents having narrowly escaped Voldemort three times. One, of course, was you. The other was Neville Longbottom.'
    “他选择的男孩是他认为极有可能对他构成威胁的人。”邓布利多说,“而且要注意一点,哈利,他所选择的,不是纯血统的(按照他的信条,只有纯血统的巫师才是惟一可以存在或是值得认识了解的)而是混血的,像他自己一样。在他见到你之前,他就在你的身上看到了自己,在他给你留下那个伤疤作为标记的时候,他没能如其所愿地杀死你,而是给了你力量和成长的机会。正是这些使你可以从他的手上逃脱,不仅一次,而是迄今为止已经有四次了——而这,无论是你的父母,还是纳威的父母都没有做到过。”
    'But then . . . but then, why was it my name on the prophecy and not Neville's?'
    “那他为什么要这样做呢?”哈利问,他觉得浑身凉冰冰的,没有了知觉,“他为什么要在我还是个婴儿的时候就设法杀死我呢?他应该等到我和纳威都长大之后,看一下谁对他更有威胁性,然后再设法去杀死那个人——”
    The official record was re-labelled after Voldemort's attack on you as a child,' said Dumbledore. 'It seemed plain to the keeper of the Hall of Prophecy that Voldemort could only have tried to kill you because he knew you to be the one to whom Sybill was referring.'
    “这或许确实是更行之有效的方式,”邓布利多说,“但不排除伏地魔对预言内容不完全了解这一情况。西比尔之所以选择猪头酒吧是因为它的价格便宜。而猪头酒吧长期以来吸引的顾客,如果我们可以这样说的话,比三把扫帚酒吧的顾客要有意思得多。你和你的伙伴们费尽了周折才发现,而我在那一天晚上也是一样,这个酒吧绝不是一个能够指望你的谈话不会被偷听的安全地方。当然,在我出发去见西比尔·特里劳妮的时候,我做梦也没想到我会听到一些很有价值的事情。我的,应该说我们的运气在于那个偷听的人只听到了预言的一小部分就被发现了,紧接着被扔出了酒吧。”
    'Then - it might not be me?' said Harry.
    “所以他只听到——”
    'I am afraid,' said Dumbledore slowly, looking as though every word cost him a great effort, 'that there is no doubt that it is you.'
    “他只听到了开头,就是预言男孩的生日在七月份,父母曾经三次击败了伏地魔。所以他不可能提醒伏地魔攻击你就会冒着把能量传输给你的危险,使你成为可以与之匹敌的对手。因此伏地魔从来不知道攻击你是很危险的事情,而明智之举则是等待,掌握更多的东西。他不知道你将拥有‘黑魔头所不了解的能量’——”
    'But you said - Neville was born at the end of July, too - and his mum and dad - '
    “然而,在我这个缜密的计划中也有不尽完善的地方。”邓布利多说,“就算在那时,我也知道有一个明显的破绽可能会导致整个计划破灭。但是,我很清楚这个计划必须成功的重要性,我跟自己说绝不能让这个破绽毁了全盘计划。我要一个人来制止它,因此我自己必须是强大的。所以,当你跟伏地魔较量之后、虚弱地躺在学校医院里的时候,我的第一个试验开始了。”
    'You are forgetting the next part of the prophecy, the final identifying feature of the boy who could vanquish Voldemort . . . Voldemort himself would mark him as his equal. And so he did, Harry. He chose you, not Neville. He gave you the scar that has proved both blessing and curse.'
    “我不明白你在说什么。”哈利说。
    'But he might have chosen wrong!' said Harry. 'He might have marked the wrong person!'
    “你难道忘记了,你躺在医院里问我,为什么你还是个婴儿的时候伏地魔就试图要杀掉你?”
    'He chose the boy he thought most likely to be a danger to him,' said Dumbledore. 'And notice this, Harry: he chose, not the pure-blood (which, according to his creed, is the only kind of wizard worth being or knowing) but the half-blood, like himself. He saw himself in you before he had ever seen you, and in marking you with that scar, he did not kill you, as he intended, but gave you powers, and a future, which have fitted you to escape him not once, but four times so far - something that neither your parents, nor Neville's parents, ever achieved.'
    “但是,我没有!”哈利憋着气说,“我没有任何能量是他没有的,我不能像他今天晚上那样来战斗,我不能控制人或是——或是杀掉他们——”
    'Why did he do it, then?' said Harry, who felt numb and cold. 'Why did he try and kill me as a baby? He should have waited to see whether Neville or I looked more dangerous when we were older and tried to kill whoever it was then - '
    “神秘事务司里有一间屋子,”邓布利多打断了他的话,“始终锁着。那里面有一种力量,比死亡,比人类的智慧,比自然的力量更神奇,更可怕。它或许也是神秘事务司里许多需要研究的课题中最神秘莫测的一个。你拥有那间屋子里的全部能量,而伏地魔却一点儿没有。正是这个能量在今天晚上带着你去营救小天狼星。也正是这个能量使你免遭伏地魔的控制,因为他没有办法忍受依附在一个充满着他所憎恨厌恶的力量的身体里。最后,你没有办法封闭你的大脑并没有什么大碍,是你的心救了你。”
    That might, indeed, have been the more practical course,' said Dumbledore, 'except that Voldemort's information about the prophecy was incomplete. The Hog's Head inn, which Sybill chose for its cheapness, has long attracted, shall we say, a more interesting clientele than the Three Broomsticks. As you and your friends found out to your cost, and I to mine that night, it is a place where it is never safe to assume you are not being overheard. Of course, I had not dreamed, when I set out to meet Sybill Trelawney, that I would hear anything worth overhearing. My - our - one stroke of good fortune was that the eavesdropper was detected only a short way into the prophecy and thrown from the building.'
    哈利闭上了眼睛。如果他没有去营救小天狼星,小天狼星就不会死……他又不由自主地想起小天狼星,接着他马上设法避开这个回忆时刻。于是他接着问,而心里根本没有太在意答案是什么:“预言的最后……它是说……两个人不能都活着……”
    'So he only heard - ?'
    “……只有一个生存下来……”
    'He heard only the beginning, the part foretelling the birth of a boy in July to parents who had thrice defied Voldemort. Consequently, he could not warn his master that to attack you would be to risk transferring power to you, and marking you as his equal. So Voldemort never knew that there might be danger in attacking you, that it might be wise to wait, to learn more. He did not know that you would have power the Dark Lord knows not - '
    “所以,”哈利说,他的内心像是有口绝望的深井,而他的话就是从这口井里捞上来的,“所以这个意思就是……到了最后……我们中的一个必须杀死另一个?”
    'But I don't!' said Harry, in a strangled voice. 'I haven't any powers he hasn't got, I couldn't fight the way he did tonight, I can't possess people or - or kill them - '
    “不错。”邓布利多说。
    There is a room in the Department of Mysteries,' interrupted Dumbledore, 'that is kept locked at all times. It contains a force that is at once more wonderful and more terrible than death, than human intelligence, than the forces of nature. It is also, perhaps, the most mysterious of the many subjects for study that reside there. It is the power held within that room that you possess in such quantities and which Voldemort has not at all. That power took you to save Sirius tonight. That power also saved you from possession by Voldemort, because he could not bear to reside in a body so full of the force he detests. In the end, it mattered not that you could not close your mind. It was your heart that saved you.'
    很长一段时间,他们谁也没有说话。哈利可以听到远在办公室墙外的某个地方有说话的声音,学生们可能正走向大礼堂去吃早餐。真令人难以置信,这个世界上居然还会有人仍在想着吃饭,仍能够笑出声来,他们没有人知道,也不会关心小天狼星布莱克永远地离开了。小天狼星似乎已远在万里之遥;即使是现在,哈利仍有一些相信如果他拉开那幅帷幔,他会发现小天狼星正回头看着他,向他问候,像犬吠一样地笑着……
    Harry closed his eyes. If he had not gone to save Sirius, Sirius would not have died . . . More to stave off the moment when he would have to think of Sirius again, Harry asked, without caring much about the answer, The end of the prophecy . . . it was something about . . . neither can live . . .'
    “我觉得我还欠你另一个解释,哈利,”邓布利多吞吞吐吐地说,“你曾经也许纳闷为什么我没有把你选为级长?我必须承认……我更认为……你已经有太多的责任需要承担。”
    '. . . while the other survives,' said Dumbledore.
    哈利向上看了他一眼,发现一滴泪水滑过邓布利多的面颊,流进他那长长的花白胡子里。
    'So,' said Harry, dredging up the words from what felt like a deep well of despair inside him, 'so does that mean that . . . that one of us has got to kill the other one . . . in the end?'
    
    'Yes,' said Dumbledore.
    
    For a long time, neither of them spoke. Somewhere far beyond the office walls, Harry could hear the sound of voices, students heading down to the Great Hall for an early breakfast, perhaps. It seemed impossible that there could be people in the world who still desired food, who laughed, who neither knew nor cared that Sirius Black was gone for ever. Sirius seemed a million miles away already; even now a part of Harry still believed that if he had only pulled back that veil, he would have found Sirius looking back at him, greeting him, perhaps, with his laugh like a bark . . .
    
    'I feel I owe you another explanation, Harry,' said Dumbledore hesitantly. 'You may, perhaps, have wondered why I never chose you as a prefect? I must confess . . . that I rather thought . . . you had enough responsibility to be going on with.'
    
    Harry looked up at him and saw a tear trickling down Dumbledore's face into his long silver beard.
    
    
    

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