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战争与和平　
War and Peace

英文中文双语对照双语交替

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CHAPTER XV

第十五章

AT SUPPER no more was said of politics and societies, but a conversation turned on the subject most agreeable to Nikolay—reminiscences of 1812. Denisov started the talk, and Pierre was particularly cordial and amusing. And the party broke up on the friendliest terms. Nikolay, after undressing in his study, and giving instructions to his steward, who was awaiting him, went in his dressing-gown to his bedroom, and found his wife still at her writing-table: she was writing something.

吃晚饭时，大家不再谈论政治和社团，话题一转，大家回忆起一八一二年来，这是尼古拉最喜欢的话题。杰尼索夫开的头，皮埃尔谈到这话题也兴高采烈，特别愉快。后来，这几个亲戚在十分友好的气氛中散去。

“What are you writing, Marie?” asked Nikolay. Countess Marya flushed. She was afraid that what she was writing would not be understood and approved by her husband.

晚饭过后，尼古拉在书斋里宽衣，对等候良久的管家交代了一些事情，就换上睡衣，走进卧室。此时，他发现妻子还坐在写字台旁，她正在写着什么东西。

She would have liked to conceal what she was writing from him, and at the same time, she was glad he had caught her, and she had to tell him.

“你在写什么呀！玛丽？”尼古拉问，玛丽亚伯爵夫人脸红了。她有些担心丈夫对她所写的东西能不能理解，会不会赞成？她本来不想让他看她写的日记，现在既然已被他发现，那就顺水推舟，让他知道这件事。这样一来，她心中也觉得高兴和踏实。

“It's my diary, Nikolay,” she said, handing him a blue note-book, filled with her firm, bold handwriting.

“这是日记，尼古拉。”她把一本蓝色笔记本递给他看，上面写满了笔迹刚健的字。

“A diary!” … said Nikolay with a shade of mockery, and he took the note-book. He saw written in French: “December 4.—Andryusha” (their elder boy) “would not be dressed when he waked up this morning, and Mademoiselle Louise sent for me. He was naughty and obstinate. I tried threatening him, but he only got more ill-tempered. Then I undertook to manage him, left him, and helped nurse get the other children up, and told him I did not love him. For a long while he was quiet, as though he were surprised. Then he rushed out to me in his night-shirt, and sobbed so that I could not soothe him for a long while. It was clear that what distressed him most was having grieved me. Then, when I gave him his report in the evening, he cried piteously again as he kissed me. One can do anything with him by tenderness.”

“日记？……”尼古拉含着嘲讽的口气说，接过日记本。

“What is his report?” asked Nikolay.

日记是用法语写的。

“I have begun giving the elder ones little marks in the evening of how they have behaved.”

“十二月四日，今天大儿子安德留沙睡醒觉却不肯穿衣服，路易小姐派人来找我。孩子既任性，又十分固执。我想吓唬他一下，不料，他的火气更大了。我就来干我的事，不理他了，和保姆一起帮其他几个孩子穿衣服，我对他说我不喜欢他。他似乎大为惊讶，半天不吭一声。然后，他穿上一件内衣跑到我跟前，哇地一声大哭起来，我费了好大劲也没法把他哄好。看得出来，他因为伤了我的心而感到十分难过，晚上，我给他分数单时，他吻着我，又伤心地哭了。只要对他温存体贴，他就能听话。”

Nikolay glanced at the luminous eyes watching him, and went on turning over, and read the diary. Everything in the children's lives was noted down in it that seemed to the mother of interest as showing the character of the children, or leading to general conclusions as to methods of bringing them up. It consisted mostly of the most trifling details; but they did not seem so either to the mother or the father, as he now, for the first time, read this record of his children's lives. On the 5th of December there was the note: “Mitya was naughty at table. Papa said he should have no pudding. He had none; but he looked so miserably and greedily at the others while they were eating. I believe that punishing them by depriving them of sweet things only develops greediness. Must tell Nikolay.”

“分数单是什么？”尼古拉问。

Nikolay put the book down and looked at his wife. The luminous eyes looked at him doubtfully, to see whether he approved or not. There could be no doubt of Nikolay's approval, of his enthusiastic admiration of his wife.

“我每天晚上根据大孩子们的白天表现，给他们的操行打分数。”

Perhaps there was no need to do it so pedantically; perhaps there was no need of it all, thought Nikolay; but this untiring, perpetual spiritual effort, directed only at the children's moral welfare, enchanted him. If Nikolay could have analysed his feelings, he would have found that the very groundwork of his steady and tender love and pride in his wife was always this feeling of awe at her spirituality, at that elevated moral world that he could hardly enter, in which his wife always lived.

尼古拉看了一下那双凝视着他的闪闪发亮的眼睛，又接着翻看日记。日记中记下了做母亲的认为孩子们生活中值得重视的情况，从中可以反映出孩子们的性格，并提出教育方法中的一般的看法。尽管记的大部分都是细小的琐事，而做母亲的却不认为这是琐事，连第一次读到日记的父亲也与母亲有此同感。

He was proud that she was so clever and so good, recognising his own insignificance beside her in the spiritual world, and he rejoiced the more that she, with her soul, not only belonged to him, but was a part of his very self.

十二月五日的日记写着：

“I quite, quite approve, my darling!” he said, with a significant air.

“米佳吃饭时淘气。爸爸说不给他吃馅饼，后来就没有给他吃。在别人吃馅饼时，他眼巴巴地看着，口水都要流出来了！我想，罚孩子不吃甜馅饼，只能增强他们的贪欲。这一点要告诉尼古拉。”

“And,” after a brief pause, he added, “And I have behaved badly to-day. You were not in the study. Pierre and I were arguing, and I lost my temper. I couldn't help it. He is such a child. I don't know what would become of him if Natasha didn't keep him at her apron-strings. Can you imagine what he went to Petersburg about?…They have made a…”

尼古拉放下日记，看了看妻子。她那双闪闪发光的眼睛询问似地望着丈夫，似乎在问他是否赞成她写的日记呢？毫无疑问，尼古拉不仅赞成，而且很钦佩妻子。

“Yes, I know,” said Countess Marya. “Natasha told me.”

“也许用不着这样过分认真，也许完全不用这样做。”尼古拉想。但玛丽亚为培养孩子们的道德品质所作的孜孜不倦的努力和精神，却使他钦佩之情，油然而生。如果尼古拉能够充分理解自己的感情，那么，他会惊奇地发现他之所以如此坚贞、如此自豪和充满柔情地爱着妻子主要是因为她具有一个真诚的内心境界，一个崇高的精神世界，这是他几乎无法达到的，这使他惊叹不已。

“Oh, well, you know, then,” Nikolay went on, getting hot at the mere recollection of the discussion. “He wants to persuade me that it's the duty of every honest man to work against the government when one's sworn allegiance and duty.…I am sorry you were not there. As it was, they all fell upon me, Denisov, and Natasha, too.…Natasha is too amusing. We know she twists him round her little finger, but when it comes to discussion—she hasn't an idea to call her own—she simply repeats his words,” added Nikolay, yielding to that irresistible impulse that tempts one to criticise one's nearest and dearest. Nikolay was unaware that what he was saying of Natasha might be said word for word of himself in relation to his wife.

他为妻子的聪明才智而感到骄傲，他也意识到自己的精神世界与妻子相比，是大为逊色的，他更感到高兴的是，她不仅身心属于他，而且成了他的不可分割的一部分。

“Yes, I have noticed that,” said Countess Marya.

“我完全赞成，完全赞成，亲爱的，”尼古拉意味深长的说。沉思片刻，又补充说：“可我今天表现不好。当时你不在书斋。我在同皮埃尔争论时发了脾气。在那种情况下，没法不发脾气，他简直像个孩子。如果娜塔莎不把他管着，我真不知道他会变成什么样子。你知道他去彼得堡干什么……他们在那里组织了……”

“When I told him that duty and sworn allegiance come before everything, he began arguing God knows what. It was a pity you were not there. What would you have said?”

“噢，我知道，”玛丽亚伯爵夫人说。“娜塔莎告诉我了。”

“To my thinking, you were quite right. I told Natasha so. Pierre says that every one is suffering, and being ill-treated and corrupted, and that it's our duty to help our neighbours. Of course, he is right,” said Countess Marya; “but he forgets that we have other nearer duties, which God Himself has marked out for us, and that we may run risks for ourselves, but not for our children.”

“那么说，你已知道，”尼古拉一想起他们的争论就十分激动，他接着说，“他想说服我相信，一切正直人的职责就是去反对政府，并且还要去宣誓效忠新的组织……可惜，当时你不在场。要知道那时他们都把矛头对准了我，包括杰尼索夫和娜塔莎……娜塔莎太可笑了。要知道平时她把皮埃尔管得很紧，但是一开始争论，她一点主见都没有了，只是机械地重复着皮埃尔的话。”尼古拉补充说，他已控制不住要议论议论自己的亲属了。他没想到他说娜塔莎的这番话，可以原封不动地用到他对自己妻子的关系上。

“Yes, yes, that's just what I told him,” cried Nikolay, who actually fancied he had said just that. “And they had all their say out about loving one's neighbour, and Christianity, and all the rest of it, before Nikolinka, who had slipped in there, and was pulling all my things to pieces.”

“是的，我也注意到了。”玛丽亚伯爵夫人说。

“Ah, do you know, Nikolay, I am so often worried about Nikolinka,” said Countess Marya. “He is such an exceptional boy. And I am afraid I neglect him for my own. All of us have our children; we all have our own ties; while he has nobody. He is always alone with his thoughts.”

“当我对他说宣誓效忠、忠于职守高于一切，他就乱说一通来证明自己见解的正确。真可惜，当时你不在场，要是你在场的话，你会怎么说呢？”

“Well, I don't think you have anything to reproach yourself with on his account. Everything the fondest mother could do for her son you have done, and are doing, for him. And of course I am glad you do. He is a splendid boy, splendid! This evening he was lost in a sort of dream listening to Pierre. And only fancy, we got up to go in to supper. I look; and there he has broken everything on my table to fragments, and he told me of it at once. I have never known him to tell a fib. He's a splendid boy!” repeated Nikolay, who did not in his heart like Nikolinka, but always felt moved to acknowledge that he was a splendid fellow.

“照我看，你是完全正确的。我对娜塔莎也是这么说的，皮埃尔说，现在大家都在受苦受难，腐化堕落，我们有责任帮助他人。他的话当然也是对的，”玛丽亚伯爵夫人说，“但是他忘记了，我们还有更迫切的责任，这也是上帝给我们的指示，那就是我们自己可以去冒险，但决不能让孩子们也去冒险。”

“Still I am not the same as a mother,” said Countess Marya. “I feel that it's not the same, and it worries me. He's a wonderful boy; but I am awfully afraid for him. Companionship will be good for him.”

“就是，就是，我对他就是这么说的，”尼古拉附和着说，似乎他真的说过这样的话。“可他还是说要爱他人和基督教，而且这些话都是当着小尼古拉的面说的，这孩子偷偷地溜进书斋，把东西都弄坏了。”

“Oh, well, it's not for long; next summer I shall take him to Petersburg,”

“唉，尼古拉，你知道，这孩子总是让我耽心，”玛丽亚伯爵夫人说。“他不是一个普通的孩子。我常怕由于自己的孩子而冷落了他。我们大家都有孩子，都有亲人，可是他什么亲人都没有。他老是一个人耽在那里想自己的心事。”

said Nikolay. “Yes, Pierre always was, and always will be, a dreamer,” he went on, returning to the discussion in the study, which had evidently worked on his feelings. “Why, what concern is all that of mine—Araktcheev's misdoings, and all the rest of it—what concern was it of mine, when at the time of our marriage I had so many debts that they were going to put me in prison, and a mother who couldn't see it or understand it. And then you, and the children, and my work.

“我看你完全用不着为他而自责。一个最慈爱的母亲为自己的亲生儿子所做的一切，你都为小尼古拉做到了，而且还继续在做。当然，这件事你做得问心无愧，我也感到很高兴。他是一个好孩子，一个出色的孩子。今天他听皮埃尔说话都听出了神。你想想看，我们去吃晚饭时，我一看，他把我桌子上的东西都弄坏了，接着，他马上向我承认错误，我从来没见他说过一句谎话。真是好孩子！”尼古拉又说，他从来不喜欢小尼古拉，但承认他是个好孩子。

It's not for my own pleasure I am from morning to night looking after the men, or in the counting-house. No, I know I must work to comfort my mother, repay you, and not leave my children in beggary, as I was left myself.”

“我毕竟不是他的亲生母亲。”玛丽亚伯爵夫人说，“我体会到这中间有差别，我心里很难过。他是个好孩子非常好的孩子，可我真替他耽心。他要是有个伴就好了。”

Countess Marya wanted to tell him that man does not live by bread alone; that he attached too much importance to this work. But she knew that she must not say this, and that it would be useless. She only took his hand and kissed it. He accepted this gesture on his wife's part as a sign of assent and approval of his words, and after a few moments of silent thought he went on thinking aloud.

“没关系，不用多久了，到夏天我就带他到彼得堡去。”尼古拉说，“是啊，皮埃尔一向都是梦想家，而且永远是个梦想家。”他接着说，又转回到书斋的话题上，这话题显然令他十分激动。“至于谈到阿拉克切耶夫不好，以及其他种种问题，和我又有什么关系？我结婚时，负债累累，随时有坐牢的危险，而这种危险母亲看不到，也不了解情况的严重。这和我有什么关系，后来你来了，有了孩子和家业。我从早到晚在帐房里，忙于工作，难道是为了满足我个人的兴趣吗？不是的，我明白我应当工作，以便奉养老母，报答你，不让孩子们像我过去那样清贫。”

“Do you know, Marie,” he said, “Ilya Mitrofanitch” (this was a steward of his) “was here to-day from the Tambov estate, and he tells me they will give eighty thousand for the forest.” And with an eager face Nikolay began talking of the possibility of buying Otradnoe back within a very short time. “Another ten years of life, and I shall leave the children … in a capital position.”

玛丽亚伯爵夫人想对他说，人活着不仅仅是靠面包，他过份地看重家业了。但她知道没有必要说，说也无用。她只是拿起他的手，吻了一下。他把妻子的这一举动，看成是赞成他的想法的表示，他沉吟了一会，继续大声地自言自语。

Countess Marya listened to her husband, and understood all he said to her.

“你知道吗，玛丽亚，”他说，“今天伊利亚·米特罗凡内奇（他的管家）从唐波夫乡下回来说，已经有人愿意出八万卢布来买那片林子了。”尼古拉还十分兴奋地说，“过不了多久很可能买下奥特拉德诺耶。再过十来年，我就能给我的孩子们留下……过相当富裕的生活了。”

She knew that when he was thus thinking aloud, he would sometimes ask what he had been saying, and was vexed when he noticed she had been thinking of something else. But she had to make a great effort to attend, because she did not feel the slightest interest in what he was saying to her. She looked at him, and though she would not exactly think of other things, her feelings were elsewhere. She felt a submissive, tender love for this man, who could never understand all that she understood; and she seemed, for that very reason, to love him the more, with a shade of passionate tenderness. Apart from that feeling, which absorbed her entirely, and prevented her from following the details of her husband's plans, thoughts kept floating through her brain that had nothing in common with what he was saying. She thought of her nephew (what her husband had said of his excitement over Pierre's talk had made a great impression on her), and various traits of his tender, sensitive character rose to her mind; and while she thought of her nephew, she thought, too, of her own children. She did not compare her nephew with her own children, but she compared her own feeling for him, and her feeling for her children, and felt, with sorrow, that in her feeling for Nikolinka there was something wanting.

玛丽亚伯爵夫人一听就知道，丈夫想对她说什么事了。她明白每当他自言自语时，有时会突然问她，他刚才说了什么，如果他发觉，她在想别的事，他会生气的。她总是集中注意力去听他的讲话，因为实际上她对他所讲话一点兴趣也没有。她眼睛望着他，心中倒不是在想别的什么事，而是在体会另一种感情。她对她面前这个人百依百顺，怀着无限柔情，而这个人对她所想的一切从来没有完全理解；尽管是这样，她对他的一片深情还是越来越强烈，并随时间的推移而越来越深。当她完全沉浸在这种感情中时对丈夫的各种想法和打算就根本听不进去，不能深入细致地观察，不仅如此，她头脑里还不时闪过一些与丈夫的想法毫无共同之处的念头。她想到她的侄儿（丈夫说小尼古拉在听皮埃尔谈话时十分激动，这使她大为吃惊），想到他那多愁善感的性格。她想到侄儿，也想到自己的孩子，她并没有拿侄儿和她的孩子们来作比较，但她比较了自己对他们的感情，并发觉对小尼古拉的感情有所欠缺，对此她深感内疚和不安。

Sometimes the idea had occurred to her that this difference was due to his age; but she felt guilty towards him, and in her soul vowed to amend, and to do the impossible, that is, in this life, to love her husband, and her children, and Nikolinka, and all her fellow-creatures, as Christ loved men. Countess Marya's soul was always striving towards the infinite, the eternal, and the perfect, and so she could never be at peace. A stern expression came into her face from that hidden, lofty suffering of the spirit, weighed down by the flesh.

有时她想到，这种区别是年龄的差异造成的；然而她又觉得自己有些地方对不起他。她内心暗自许诺要加以改正，并做她不可能做到的事—就是要像耶稣基督爱全人类那样，一辈子都爱丈夫，爱孩子，也爱小尼古拉，爱一切人。玛丽亚伯爵夫人一直在不断地追求永生、永恒和尽善尽美的境界，因而她的心灵永远得不到安宁。她脸上总是现出一种严肃的表情，实际上反映出她那受肉体之累的灵魂所感受到的崇高而隐秘的痛苦。

Nikolay gazed at her. “My God! What will become of us, if she dies, as I dread, when she looks like that?” he thought, and standing before the holy images, he began to repeat his evening prayer.

尼古拉向她看了一看。“天哪！当她脸上露出这种严肃的神色时，我仿佛觉得她就要升天了。万一她去世了，我们可怎么办？！”尼古拉心里这么想，然后就站在圣像前做起晚祷来。