三怪客泛舟记
Three Men in a Boat


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    Chapter 3 We decide what to take
    
    The following evening,we discussed what we wanted to take with us.Harris said,'Now get me a piece of pa-per,J.,and write everything down.George,you get a pencil,and I'll make the list.'
    That's Harris-he tells everybody what to do,and they do all the work.I remember that my Uncle Podger was like Harris…
    Everybody in the house had to help when Uncle Podger did a job.When they bought a picture once,Aunt Podger asked,'Now,where shall we put this?'
    'Oh,I'll do it.Don't worry about it.I'll do it all myself,'he said.And then he took off his coat to begin.He sent one of the girls out to buy some nails,and then he sent one of the boys to tell her how big the nails ought to be.'Now,Bill,you go and get my hammer,'he shouted.'And bring me a ruler,Tom.And Jim,I need a ladder-and a kitchen chair,too.Maria,you stay here to hold the light-and Tom,come here!You can give me the picture.'
    Then he lifted the picture up…and he dropped it.He tried to catch the glass…and he cut himslef.He looked for something to put round his finger,and he could not find anything.So he danced round the house,and he shouted at everybody.
    Half an hour later,the finger had been tied up,they had bought new glass,and everythng was ready.Uncle Podger tried again.Everybody stood round him.They were all ready to help.Two people held the chair, a third helped him to get on it,a fourth gave him a nail,and a fifth passed him the hammer.He took the nail…and he dropped it!
    'There,'he said sadly.'Now the nail's gone.'
    So everybody got down on the ground to look for it.At last we found the nail,but then he lost the hammer.
    'Where's the hammer?What did I do with the hammer?There are seven of you there,and you don't know where the hammer is!'
    We found the hammer for him,but then he lost the place on the wall where he was going to put the picture.So each one of us had to get up on the chair and look for the place.And each one of us thought that it was a different place.Then Uncle Podger tried again himself.This time he fell off the chair on to the piano.His head and his body hit the piano at the same time.The music was beautiful,but Uncle Podger's words were not!Aunt Maria was not pleased.She said that she did not want the children to listen to those terrible words.She added calmly,'The next time that you are going to put a picture on the wall,please tell me.Then I can arrange to go and spend a week with my mother.'
    Uncle Podger got up and tried again,and at midnight the picture was on the wall.It was not very straight,and everyone was very tired and unhappy.Uncle Podger looked at the picture proudly and said,'You see,it was only a little job!'…
    Harris is like that.So I told him that George would write down the list,and I would do the work.He could get the pencil and the paper.
    The first list was too long.So we started again.
    'Now,'George said,'we don't want to take a tent.We can put a cover over the boat at night.It will be like a little house,lovely and warm and comfortable.It's much easier than a tent.'
    Then we made a list of all the clothes we needed.George told us that he knew all about this kind of thing-and we be-lieved him.We discovered later that this was not true.
    Next we talked about the food.
    'First,breakfast,'George began.'We need eggs,cold meat,tea,bread and butter,of course.And for dinner we can take cold chicken legs,tomatoes,cold meat,fruit,cakes,chocolate…We can drink water.'then he added,'And we can take a bottle of whisky,too-for when we are sick,you know.'
    We did not wish to talk about being sick.But later,we were glad we had taken the whisky.
    So we made our list,and it was a long one.
    

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