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我的生活海伦·凯勒自传
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller

英文中文双语对照双语交替

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Chapter XIV	第十四章

The winter of 1892 was darkened by the one cloud in my childhood's bright sky. Joy deserted my heart, and for a long, long time I lived in doubt, anxiety and fear. Books lost their charm for me, and even now the thought of those dreadful days chills my heart. A little story called "The Frost King," which I wrote and sent to Mr. Anagnos, of the Perkins Institution for the Blind, was at the root of the trouble. In order to make the matter clear, I must set forth the facts connected with this episode, which justice to my teacher and to myself compels me to relate.*	1892年冬天，我童年时代的明亮天空被一抹乌云所遮盖。喜乐的心弃我而去。在很长、很长的一段时期里，我都活在疑惑、焦虑和恐惧之中。书本在我眼中失去了吸引力，直到现在，那段可怕的日子仍然令我心有余悸。我曾编写过一个题目叫做《冰雪之王》的小故事，我还把它送给了帕金斯盲人学院的阿纳戈诺斯先生，这个故事就是引起麻烦的根源。为了把事实交代清楚，我必须先从相关的线索讲起，我想，这对于我的老师和我要陈述的事件也是公平合理的。
I wrote the story when I was at home, the autumn after I had learned to speak. We had stayed up at Fern Quarry later than usual. While we were there, Miss Sullivan had described to me the beauties of the late foliage, and it seems that her descriptions revived the memory of a story, which must have been read to me, and which I must have unconsciously retained. I thought then that I was "making up a story," as children say, and I eagerly sat down to write it before the ideas should slip from me. My thoughts flowed easily; I felt a sense of joy in the composition. Words and images came tripping to my finger ends, and as I thought out sentence after sentence, I wrote them on my braille slate. Now, if words and images come to me without effort, it is a pretty sure sign that they are not the offspring of my own mind, but stray waifs that I regretfully dismiss. At that time I eagerly absorbed everything I read without a thought of authorship, and even now I cannot be quite sure of the boundary line between my ideas and those I find in books. I suppose that is because so many of my impressions come to me through the medium of others' eyes and ears.	我是在家中写下那个故事的，时间是在我学会说话之后的那年秋天。当时，我们住在弗恩采石场，睡觉的时间也比平时晚得多。苏立文小姐向我描述了深秋树叶的美丽多彩，她的讲述似乎唤醒了（我对）某个故事沉睡的记忆。这个故事一定被我读到过，我一定是在不知不觉间记住了这个故事。于是我想，我也要编写一个故事。说写就写，我任凭各种各样的思绪从头脑中汩汩涌出。我体会到了文思泉涌的快乐，我发现了创作过程的喜悦。富有生命的文字和想象轻快地游走在我的指端，我把一个又一个句子写在了我的盲文木板上。如今，假如词语和想象变得唾手可得，显然，这表明它们并非是出自我思想的产物，最多只是被我头脑遗弃的零星碎片。那时，我如饥似渴地汲取我读到的任何东西，从来就不会对著作本身有什么想法。即使是现在，我也无法完全在我的思想和我读到的那些书之间划清界限。我想，这是因为我过多地接受了别人的所见所闻，我只能依靠别人的眼睛“看”世界。
When the story was finished, I read it to my teacher, and I recall now vividly the pleasure I felt in the more beautiful passages, and my annoyance at being interrupted to have the pronunciation of a word corrected. At dinner it was read to the assembled family, who were surprised that I could write so well. Some one asked me if I had read it in a book.	故事一写完，我就读给老师听。至今，我仍然清楚地记得当时的情景——我沉醉其中的样子，还有被老师纠正单词读音时的懊恼之情。晚餐时，我把故事读给全家人听。他们惊讶于我写得如此之好，甚至有人问我这是不是从书里读到的故事。
This question surprised me very much; for I had not the faintest recollection of having had it read to me. I spoke up and said, "Oh, no, it is my story, and I have written it for Mr. Anagnos."	这让我也感到非常吃惊，因为我不记得有谁曾为我读过这样的故事。我大声说道：“哦，不，这是我自己的故事，是我为阿纳戈诺斯先生写的故事。”
Accordingly I copied the story and sent it to him for his birthday. It was suggested that I should change the title from "Autumn Leaves" to "The Frost King," which I did. I carried the little story to the post-office myself, feeling as if I were walking on air. I little dreamed how cruelly I should pay for that birthday gift.	于是，我把故事誊写下来，并且把它作为生日礼物寄给了阿纳戈诺斯先生。有人建议我应该把“冰雪之王”这个题目改为“秋天的落叶”，但是我坚持用自己的题目。我亲自把这个小故事送到了邮局。一路上，我仿佛觉得自己走在了云层里。我完全没有料到我为这件生日礼物付出了多么惨痛的代价。
Mr. Anagnos was delighted with "The Frost King," and published it in one of the Perkins Institution reports. This was the pinnacle of my happiness, from which I was in a little while dashed to earth. I had been in Boston only a short time when it was discovered that a story similar to "The Frost King," called "The Frost Fairies" by Miss Margaret T. Canby, had appeared before I was born in a book called "Birdie and His Friends." The two stories were so much alike in thought and language that it was evident Miss Canby's story had been read to me, and that mine was--a plagiarism. It was difficult to make me understand this; but when I did understand I was astonished and grieved. No child ever drank deeper of the cup of bitterness than I did. I had disgraced myself; I had brought suspicion upon those I loved best. And yet how could it possibly have happened? I racked my brain until I was weary to recall anything about the frost that I had read before I wrote "The Frost King"; but I could remember nothing, except the common reference to Jack Frost, and a poem for children, "The Freaks of the Frost," and I knew I had not used that in my composition.	阿纳戈诺斯先生很欣赏我的《冰雪之王》，他还把故事登在了帕金斯学院的一份刊物上。可以说，这把我推到了快乐的顶点，但是片刻之间，我就从云端直坠地面。我刚回到波士顿不久，就有人发现了一篇同《冰雪之王》类似的故事，那个故事名叫《冰雪仙子》，作者是玛格利特·T.肯拜小姐。这篇故事出自一本叫做《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》的书，而这本书早在我出生之前就出版了。无论在思路还是语言上，这两篇故事是如此相似，令人不得不相信我曾看到过肯拜小姐的书，这就是说，我的故事是一篇剽窃之作。起初我感到难以理解，但是搞明白后，我感到既震惊又伤心。没有一个孩子像我这样饮下了这么多的苦水。我感到颜面尽失。我令我最爱的那些人疑虑重重。可是，这一切怎么可能发生呢？我搜索枯肠左思右想，直到厌倦了回忆我读到过的任何有关森林的故事。事实上，在写《冰雪之王》之前，我不记得看到过这类故事。也许杰克·弗罗斯特为孩子们写的一首叫做《寒冬奇想》的诗和冰雪有关，可是我绝对没有在我的故事中使用到诗里的内容。
At first Mr. Anagnos, though deeply troubled, seemed to believe me. He was unusually tender and kind to me, and for a brief space the shadow lifted. To please him I tried not to be unhappy, and to make myself as pretty as possible for the celebration of Washington's birthday, which took place very soon after I received the sad news.	虽然阿纳戈诺斯先生深受困扰，但是他似乎相信我的清白。很快，这段短暂的阴霾消散了，他变得对我更加和蔼可亲了。为了让他高兴，我尽量掩饰自己的不快，我以最优雅的举止参加了华盛顿诞辰的庆典活动，这件事就发生在我得到那个坏消息之后不久。
I was to be Ceres in a kind of masque given by the blind girls. How well I remember the graceful draperies that enfolded me, the bright autumn leaves that wreathed my head, and the fruit and grain at my feet and in my hands, and beneath all the gaiety of the masque the oppressive sense of coming ill that made my heart heavy.	在伙伴们组织的假面舞会中，我扮演了谷物女神色瑞斯。我的身上围裹着华丽的织物，头上缠绕着亮闪闪的秋叶，手脚周围布满了果实和谷物；而在欢乐的气氛之下，我的胸中则积蓄着深深的愁苦。
The night before the celebration, one of the teachers of the Institution had asked me a question connected with "The Frost King," and I was telling her that Miss Sullivan had talked to me about Jack Frost and his wonderful works. Something I said made her think she detected in my words a confession that I did remember Miss Canby's story of "The Frost Fairies," and she laid her conclusions before Mr. Anagnos, although I had told her most emphatically that she was mistaken.	庆典活动的前一天晚上，学院里的一位老师问了我一个同《冰雪之王》有关的问题。我告诉她，苏立文小姐曾跟我介绍过杰克·弗罗斯特及其出色的诗作。我想我讲的某些事情让她产生了不切实际的想法，因为她从中觉察到了我对肯拜小姐的《冰雪仙子》记忆犹新，甚至认为我坦白交代了自己的过错。虽然我一再重申她的错误推断，但她还是把自己的结论提交给了阿纳戈诺斯先生。
Mr. Anagnos, who loved me tenderly, thinking that he had been deceived, turned a deaf ear to the pleadings of love and innocence. He believed, or at least suspected, that Miss Sullivan and I had deliberately stolen the bright thoughts of another and imposed them on him to win his admiration. I was brought before a court of investigation composed of the teachers and officers of the Institution, and Miss Sullivan was asked to leave me. Then I was questioned and cross-questioned with what seemed to me a determination on the part of my judges to force me to acknowledge that I remembered having had "The Frost Fairies" read to me. I felt in every question the doubt and suspicion that was in their minds, and I felt, too, that a loved friend was looking at me reproachfully, although I could not have put all this into words. The blood pressed about my thumping heart, and I could scarcely speak, except in monosyllables. Even the consciousness that it was only a dreadful mistake did not lessen my suffering, and when at last I was allowed to leave the room, I was dazed and did not notice my teacher's caresses, or the tender words of my friends, who said I was a brave little girl and they were proud of me.	于是，对我和蔼友善的阿纳戈诺斯先生认为受到了欺骗，继而对我们为捍卫清白而做的辩解充耳不闻。他相信，或者至少是怀疑，我和苏立文小姐故意偷取了别人的思想精华，并且将其用作赢得他人赞赏的工具。我还受到了由学院教师和官员组成的调查法庭的质询，而苏立文小姐则被告知要暂时回避。随后，我被翻来覆去地问讯，调查团似乎下定决心要将我判定为曾读过《冰雪仙子》。我认为每一个引起怀疑的问题都是他们主观臆断的结果；同时，我也感觉到了一个亲密的朋友正在用责备的眼神看着我，只是我无法把这些感受用言语表达出来。我想一吐胸中的块垒，但是除了几个简单的音节，我一句话也说不出来。甚至连我的意识也变成了可怕的帮凶，它无法解除我的痛苦。终于，我被获准离开了房间，我头晕脑涨，根本没有留意老师的拥抱和朋友们的好言安慰。朋友们都说我是一个勇敢的女孩，她们为我感到自豪。
As I lay in my bed that night, I wept as I hope few children have wept. I felt so cold, I imagined I should die before morning, and the thought comforted me. I think if this sorrow had come to me when I was older, it would have broken my spirit beyond repairing. But the angel of forgetfulness has gathered up and carried away much of the misery and all the bitterness of those sad days.	那晚我躺在床上，我难过得哭了，我希望别的孩子不要遭受我这样的痛苦。我浑身发冷，我觉得自己在天亮之前就会死去；而且，这种想法令我感到了一丝宽慰。我想，假如在我长大后遇到这种伤心事，那么我的灵魂一定会破碎到无法修补的境地。但是，遗忘天使迟早会收集起痛苦岁月的所有悲伤，并且将其彻底清除出脆弱的心灵。
Miss Sullivan had never heard of "The Frost Fairies" or of the book in which it was published. With the assistance of Dr. Alexander Graham Bell, she investigated the matter carefully, and at last it came out that Mrs. Sophia C. Hopkins had a copy of Miss Canby's "Birdie and His Friends" in 1888, the year that we spent the summer with her at Brewster. Mrs. Hopkins was unable to find her copy; but she has told me that at that time, while Miss Sullivan was away on a vacation, she tried to amuse me by reading from various books, and although she could not remember reading "The Frost Fairies" any more than I, yet she felt sure that "Birdie and His Friends" was one of them. She explained the disappearance of the book by the fact that she had a short time before sold her house and disposed of many juvenile books, such as old schoolbooks and fairy tales, and that "Birdie and His Friends" was probably among them.	苏立文小姐从来没有听说过《冰雪仙子》的故事，也不知道有这么一本书。在亚历山大·格雷厄姆·贝尔博士的帮助下，她仔细地调查了这件事，最后终于有了些眉目。1888年，索菲娅·C.霍普金斯夫人有一本肯拜小姐的《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》。那一年，我们和她一起在布鲁斯特度过了夏天。霍普金斯夫人已经无法找到那本书，但是她告诉我，当时苏立文小姐正在外出休假，为了逗我开心，她就为我读各种各样的书。虽然她不记得曾为我读过《冰雪仙子》的故事，但是她确信《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》应该是其中的一本书。她向我解释了那本书消失的原因。事实上，在把房子卖掉之前，她就处理了大量的青少年读物、老课本和童话故事，而《布莱迪和他的伙伴们》很可能就夹在其中。
The stories had little or no meaning for me then; but the mere spelling of the strange words was sufficient to amuse a little child who could do almost nothing to amuse herself; and although I do not recall a single circumstance connected with the reading of the stories, yet I cannot help thinking that I made a great effort to remember the words, with the intention of having my teacher explain them when she returned. One thing is certain, the language was ineffaceably stamped upon my brain, though for a long time no one knew it, least of all myself.	当时，这些故事并没有给我留下什么印象，不过，那些奇异的单词拼写足以让一个没有任何乐趣的小孩子开心一阵子了。虽然我连任何一个同故事有关的情节都记不起来了，但是我无法忘掉学习单词的艰苦过程。在老师休假归来后，我马上让老师给我解释那些陌生的词。因此，有一件事是肯定的——语言在我头脑中留下的烙印是无法抹煞的，只是很久以来，我并没有去特别留意这个问题。
When Miss Sullivan came back, I did not speak to her about "The Frost Fairies," probably because she began at once to read "Little Lord Fauntleroy," which filled my mind to the exclusion of everything else. But the fact remains that Miss Canby's story was read to me once, and that long after I had forgotten it, it came back to me so naturally that I never suspected that it was the child of another mind.	苏立文小姐回来后，我并没有对她讲《冰雪仙子》的事，这可能是因为她一回来就给我读《小爵爷方特勒罗伊》，我满脑子里装的都是这个故事，就暂时把别的事都抛到了一边。但实际情况是，曾经有人把肯拜小姐的故事读给我听，这是一种残存的记忆，虽然时间会令人遗忘，但是对我而言，记忆恢复时还是显得那么自然。我从不怀疑那个故事就是某个孩童的另一个头脑的产物。
In my trouble I received many messages of love and sympathy. All the friends I loved best, except one, have remained my own to the present time.	在那段艰难的日子里，我得到了很多人的同情和关爱，我的朋友们无一例外地伸出援手，把我从低谷中拉上来。
Miss Canby herself wrote kindly, "Some day you will write a great story out of your own head, that will be a comfort and help to many." But this kind prophecy has never been fulfilled. I have never played with words again for the mere pleasure of the game. Indeed, I have ever since been tortured by the fear that what I write is not my own. For a long time, when I wrote a letter, even to my mother, I was seized with a sudden feeling of terror, and I would spell the sentences over and over, to make sure that I had not read them in a book. Had it not been for the persistent encouragement of Miss Sullivan, I think I should have given up trying to write altogether.	肯拜小姐亲自写信安慰我：“有朝一日，你也会用自己的头脑写出一篇伟大的故事，它将会抚慰很多人，也会对他们助益匪浅。”但是这个预言从来没有实现，我不再做仅仅为了娱乐而玩弄辞藻的游戏了。实际上，自那以后，我被恐惧折磨着，我害怕我写的东西不是我自己的。有很长一段时间，即便是在给母亲写信的时候，我也会感到如临大敌般惴惴不安。我会反反复复地拼写句子，以确信我并没有在某本书中读到过这些话。如果没有苏立文小姐持久的鼓励，我想我肯定无法把那些单词组合成句。
I have read "The Frost Fairies" since, also the letters I wrote in which I used other ideas of Miss Canby's. I find in one of them, a letter to Mr. Anagnos, dated September 29, 1891, words and sentiments exactly like those of the book. At the time I was writing "The Frost King," and this letter, like many others, contains phrases which show that my mind was saturated with the story. I represent my teacher as saying to me of the golden autumn leaves, "Yes, they are beautiful enough to comfort us for the flight of summer"--an idea direct from Miss Canby's story.	事实上，那时我不但读了《冰雪仙子》，我还在我写的信中借用了肯拜小姐的一些观点。我在一封信中找到了佐证，这封信是写给阿纳戈诺斯先生的，时间是1891年9月29日，信中的措辞和观点确实很像那本书的语言。当时，我正在写《冰雪之王》，就像我写的很多别的信一样，这封信中也包含了那篇故事所使用的语句。当然，这些成语都是被我融会贯通后，能够代表我思想的词句。比如，我是这样描述老师所说的秋日中的金黄色的树叶的：“是的，它们的美丽足以安抚我们对逝去夏日的眷恋之情。”——这样的一个观点直接来自于肯拜小姐的故事。
This habit of assimilating what pleased me and giving it out again as my own appears in much of my early correspondence and my first attempts at writing. In a composition which I wrote about the old cities of Greece and Italy, I borrowed my glowing descriptions, with variations, from sources I have forgotten. I knew Mr. Anagnos's great love of antiquity and his enthusiastic appreciation of all beautiful sentiments about Italy and Greece. I therefore gathered from all the books I read every bit of poetry or of history that I thought would give him pleasure. Mr. Anagnos, in speaking of my composition on the cities, has said, "These ideas are poetic in their essence." But I do not understand how he ever thought a blind and deaf child of eleven could have invented them. Yet I cannot think that because I did not originate the ideas, my little composition is therefore quite devoid of interest. It shows me that I could express my appreciation of beautiful and poetic ideas in clear and animated language.	这种深受周围事物同化的习性令我乐此不疲，我在早期通信和最初的写作中无不透露出同化因素的影响。我曾在自己的作文中写到了希腊和意大利的古老城市，我借用了多姿多彩的生动描述，但是我已经不记得它们的出处了。我知道阿纳戈诺斯先生对古代希腊和罗马的遗迹情有独钟，并且对它们所创造的古代文明推崇备至。于是，我便从我读过的所有书本中搜集出相关的诗歌和历史，我想这一定会令他很开心。阿纳戈诺斯先生则说我描写古代城市的作文“诗意地再现了其内在特质”。但我并不知晓他是如何看待一个十一岁的盲聋小孩的遣词造句的。总之，我并不认为我有创作的本事，因为我无法创造自己的观点，所以我的作文空泛而无趣也就在所难免了。这反倒提醒了我，我应该使用清晰而生动的语言来描述美好的事物，品评诗意的思想。
Those early compositions were mental gymnastics. I was learning, as all young and inexperienced persons learn, by assimilation and imitation, to put ideas into words. Everything I found in books that pleased me I retained in my memory, consciously or unconsciously, and adapted it. The young writer, as Stevenson has said, instinctively tries to copy whatever seems most admirable, and he shifts his admiration with astonishing versatility. It is only after years of this sort of practice that even great men have learned to marshal the legion of words which come thronging through every byway of the mind.	那些作文构成了我早期的智力训练课程。像所有缺乏经验的年轻人一样，我通过吸收和模仿将自己的思想诉诸文字。书本中任何给我留下愉悦记忆的事物——无论是有意还是无意——都适用于这个原则。有一个年轻的作家史蒂文森曾说过，受本能驱使，他总是尽其所能地再现那些最令人景仰的崇高思想，而且，他会令人惊讶地将这种崇高转化为千变万化的文字效果。即使是伟大的人物，也只有经年累月地持续训练，才能汇聚起攻往每一条思想小径的文字大军。
I am afraid I have not yet completed this process. It is certain that I cannot always distinguish my own thoughts from those I read, because what I read becomes the very substance and texture of my mind. Consequently, in nearly all that I write, I produce something which very much resembles the crazy patchwork I used to make when I first learned to sew. This patchwork was made of all sorts of odds and ends--pretty bits of silk and velvet; but the coarse pieces that were not pleasant to touch always predominated. Likewise my compositions are made up of crude notions of my own, inlaid with the brighter thoughts and riper opinions of the authors I have read. It seems to me that the great difficulty of writing is to make the language of the educated mind express our confused ideas, half feelings, half thoughts, when we are little more than bundles of instinctive tendencies. Trying to write is very much like trying to put a Chinese puzzle together. We have a pattern in mind which we wish to work out in words; but the words will not fit the spaces, or, if they do, they will not match the design. But we keep on trying because we know that others have succeeded, and we are not willing to acknowledge defeat.	至今，我仍担心自己无法完成这一过程。显而易见的是，我不能总是从我读到的东西里辨认出我自己的思想，因为我读过的东西已经变成了我的精神食粮，它已经与我融为一体。所以说，在我写的几乎所有文章里，我所创造出的是这样一种东西——它很像我最初学习女红时所缝制的一件色彩斑斓的百衲衣。这件百衲衣由各种各样的碎布头制成，虽然不乏精美的丝绸和天鹅绒，可是这些拼凑的碎片始终不能令人满意。同样，我的作文也是既有我自己的粗鄙见解，也不乏一些大家的真知灼见。在我看来，写作的最大困难就在于，我们要用理性的语言去表达自身混乱的思绪、不成熟的情感和幼稚的观念，可以说，这基本上属于一种本能行为。尝试写作的过程就像拼凑中国的七巧板和九连环一样复杂。我们在脑海中勾勒出一幅图案，我们希望借助文字表达其含义，但是在通常情况下，文字并不适用于这个范畴，或者说，文字同那幅图案不相匹配。尽管如此，我们依旧锲而不舍地努力尝试，因为我们知道别人已经取得了成功，我们不愿意承认自己是失败者。
"There is no way to become original, except to be born so," says Stevenson, and although I may not be original, I hope sometime to outgrow my artificial, periwigged compositions. Then, perhaps, my own thoughts and experiences will come to the surface. Meanwhile I trust and hope and persevere, and try not to let the bitter memory of "The Frost King" trammel my efforts.	尽快创造出自己的替代品，虽然这些替代品只是头戴假发面具的矫饰文字。或许有朝一日，我自己的思想和人生经验也会尽显本色。在学习写作的过程中，我满怀信心，坚持不懈，并且尽量不让《冰雪之王》的苦涩记忆变成我学习之路上的阻碍。
So this sad experience may have done me good and set me thinking on some of the problems of composition. My only regret is that it resulted in the loss of one of my dearest friends, Mr. Anagnos.	对我而言，这个惨痛的经历未尝不是一件好事，它让我对作文中所暴露的问题做出更加深入的思考。我唯一感到遗憾的是，我因此失去了最亲爱的朋友阿纳戈诺斯先生的友谊。
Since the publication of "The Story of My Life" in the Ladies' Home Journal, Mr. Anagnos has made a statement, in a letter to Mr. Macy, that at the time of the "Frost King" matter, he believed I was innocent. He says, the court of investigation before which I was brought consisted of eight people: four blind, four seeing persons. Four of them, he says, thought I knew that Miss Canby's story had been read to me, and the others did not hold this view. Mr. Anagnos states that he cast his vote with those who were favourable to me.	《我的生活》刊登在《女士之家》杂志以后，阿纳戈诺斯先生便发表了一项声明，他在给梅西先生的一封信中提到了《冰雪之王》事件。他相信我是无辜的，据他说，调查团由八名成员组成，包括四名盲人，四名正常人。其中的四人认为我读过肯拜小姐的故事，而另外四人则不支持这种观点。阿纳戈诺斯先生表示，作为调查团成员之一，他投了支持我的一票。
But, however the case may have been, with whichever side he may have cast his vote, when I went into the room where Mr. Anagnos had so often held me on his knee and, forgetting his many cares, had shared in my frolics, and found there persons who seemed to doubt me, I felt that there was something hostile and menacing in the very atmosphere, and subsequent events have borne out this impression. For two years he seems to have held the belief that Miss Sullivan and I were innocent. Then he evidently retracted his favourable judgment, why I do not know. Nor did I know the details of the investigation. I never knew even the names of the members of the "court" who did not speak to me. I was too excited to notice anything, too frightened to ask questions. Indeed, I could scarcely think what I was saying, or what was being said to me.	其实，无论这一事件的结果如何，也无论阿纳戈诺斯先生把自己的票投向哪一方，每当我走进他的办公室时，他总会把我抱在膝上嬉戏玩耍，从而忘掉种种烦恼。当时，他已经发觉到有人对我产生了怀疑，而我也感到周围弥漫着某种险恶的敌对气氛；其后发生的事件终于印证了这种不祥的预感。整整两年间，阿纳戈诺斯先生似乎一直相信我和苏立文小姐是清白无辜的。但是后来，他的立场发生了明显的偏转，我不知道这是为什么，也不知道具体的调查细节。我甚至连“陪审团”成员的名字都不知道，他们也不曾跟我说过话。当时，我心情激动，难以顾及其他事情；而且，我吓得惊恐万状，根本无法提出异议。事实上，我几乎想不起来我说过什么话，或者别人跟我说过什么话。
I have given this account of the "Frost King" affair because it was important in my life and education; and, in order that there might be no misunderstanding, I have set forth all the facts as they appear to me, without a thought of defending myself or of laying blame on any one.	我所以把《冰雪之王》事件详加描述，是因为它在我接受教育的过程中意义非常。行为得当，也就不会引起误解发生。因此，一旦误解再度出现时，我会阐明事实，既不会巧言辩白，也不会怨天尤人。