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我的生活海伦·凯勒自传
The Story of My Life by Helen Keller

英文中文双语对照双语交替

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Chapter XIII

第十三章

It was in the spring of 1890 that I learned to speak.* The impulse to utter audible sounds had always been strong within me. I used to make noises, keeping one hand on my throat while the other hand felt the movements of my lips. I was pleased with anything that made a noise and liked to feel the cat purr and the dog bark. I also liked to keep my hand on a singer's throat, or on a piano when it was being played. Before I lost my sight and hearing, I was fast learning to talk, but after my illness it was found that I had ceased to speak because I could not hear. I used to sit in my mother's lap all day long and keep my hands on her face because it amused me to feel the motions of her lips; and I moved my lips, too, although I had forgotten what talking was. My friends say that I laughed and cried naturally, and for awhile I made many sounds and word-elements, not because they were a means of communication, but because the need of exercising my vocal organs was imperative. There was, however, one word the meaning of which I still remembered, water. I pronounced it "wa-wa." Even this became less and less intelligible until the time when Miss Sullivan began to teach me. I stopped using it only after I had learned to spell the word on my fingers.

1890年的春天，我开始学习说话。对我而言，能够发声讲话的冲动变得日益强烈。我常常会发出一些杂音，我会把一只手放在自己的喉咙上出声，而别人则用手感知我嘴唇的移动。我对自己发出的任何声音都感到无比满足，我也喜欢通过触摸感知猫儿“咕噜咕噜”的哼唱，或者是狗儿欢快的吠叫。有时候，我还会把手放在一个歌唱家的喉咙上，或者是一架正在弹奏的钢琴上面。在我失去视觉和听觉之前，我咿呀学语的速度很快，但是在得病之后，我就停止了讲话，因为我什么都听不见。于是，我整天坐在母亲的腿上，还把手放在她的脸上，因为她嘴唇的移动令我兴味盎然。同时，我也移动自己的嘴唇，不过我早已忘了当时都说了些什么。我的朋友们说，无论是笑是哭，我流露出的情绪都很自然；而且，我还会发出许多声音和模糊的词语。当然，这些声音并不包含与人交流的成分，它只是表明我练习使用发音器官的本能需求。至今我仍然记得学习“water”这个词的过程，一开始，我总是发出“wawa”的声音。显然，这样的发音是令人难以理解的。直到苏立文小姐教我学会用手指拼写后，我便放弃了用发音进行交流的方式。

I had known for a long time that the people about me used a method of communication different from mine; and even before I knew that a deaf child could be taught to speak, I was conscious of dissatisfaction with the means of communication I already possessed. One who is entirely dependent upon the manual alphabet has always a sense of restraint, of narrowness. This feeling began to agitate me with a vexing, forward-reaching sense of a lack that should be filled. My thoughts would often rise and beat up like birds against the wind; and I persisted in using my lips and voice. Friends tried to discourage this tendency, fearing lest it would lead to disappointment. But I persisted, and an accident soon occurred which resulted in the breaking down of this great barrier--I heard the story of Ragnhild Kaata.

我很早就知道，人们使用一种与众不同的方式同我交流。我知道一个聋哑孩子是可以学会说话的，因此，我对自己已经拥有的交流手段感到了不满。一个完全依赖手写字母来交流的人总会感觉到处处受限。这种挫折感既令我无比懊恼，又使我进一步意识到，我应该尽快弥补自己的交流缺陷。我的思绪日益高涨，犹如逆风而行的飞鸟；而且，我坚持用自己的嘴唇发音。朋友们则竭力阻止我的热情，他们唯恐我因讲话不成而更加失望。我毫不动摇，随后发生的一件事终于令巨大的障碍轰然倒地——我听说了拉根希尔德·卡塔的故事。

In 1890 Mrs. Lamson, who had been one of Laura Bridgman's teachers, and who had just returned from a visit to Norway and Sweden, came to see me, and told me of Ragnhild Kaata, a deaf and blind girl in Norway who had actually been taught to speak. Mrs. Lamson had scarcely finished telling me about this girl's success before I was on fire with eagerness. I resolved that I, too, would learn to speak. I would not rest satisfied until my teacher took me, for advice and assistance, to Miss Sarah Fuller, principal of the Horace Mann School. This lovely, sweet-natured lady offered to teach me herself, and we began the twenty-sixth of March, 1890.

1890年，刚从挪威和瑞典访问归来的拉姆森夫人来看我，她也是劳拉·布里吉曼的授课教师之一。她对我讲了拉根希尔德·卡塔的故事。拉根希尔德·卡塔是一个又聋又盲的挪威女孩，事实上，她已经成功地学会了开口说话。不等拉姆森夫人把女孩的故事讲完，我的希望之火就已经燃烧起来了。我下定决心，也要学会开口讲话。于是，在他人的建议和协助下，我的老师把我送到了萨拉·富勒小姐那里，她是霍勒斯·曼恩学校的校长。这位和蔼可亲的女士决定亲自为我授课，1890年3月26日是我们的开课日期。

Miss Fuller's method was this: she passed my hand lightly over her face, and let me feel the position of her tongue and lips when she made a sound. I was eager to imitate every motion and in an hour had learned six elements of speech: M, P, A, S, T, I. Miss Fuller gave me eleven lessons in all. I shall never forget the surprise and delight I felt when I uttered my first connected sentence, "It is warm." True, they were broken and stammering syllables; but they were human speech. My soul, conscious of new strength, came out of bondage, and was reaching through those broken symbols of speech to all knowledge and all faith.

富勒小姐的授课方法是这样的：她把我的手轻轻地放在她的脸上，这样，当她发音的时候，我就能触摸到她的舌头和嘴唇的位置。我如饥似渴地模仿老师的每一个口形，只用了一个小时，我就学会了六个字母的读音：M，P，A，S，T，I。富勒小姐总共给我上了十一堂课，我永远也忘不了开口说出第一句话时的惊讶和喜悦，那句话是“天很暖和”。当然，这句话说得结结巴巴，但它的确是人类的语言。在灵魂深处，我感受到了一股挣脱了某种束缚的新生力量。此刻，它正在穿越那些断裂的音节，奔向所有的知识和所有的信念。

No deaf child who has earnestly tried to speak the words which he has never heard--to come out of the prison of silence, where no tone of love, no song of bird, no strain of music ever pierces the stillness--can forget the thrill of surprise, the joy of discovery which came over him when he uttered his first word. Only such a one can appreciate the eagerness with which I talked to my toys, to stones, trees, birds and dumb animals, or the delight I felt when at my call Mildred ran to me or my dogs obeyed my commands. It is an unspeakable boon to me to be able to speak in winged words that need no interpretation. As I talked, happy thoughts fluttered up out of my words that might perhaps have struggled in vain to escape my fingers.

没有一个聋哑孩子会用心学习他不曾听过的词语——那些词语来自于“无声的牢狱”，那里听不到柔情细语，没有鸟儿的歌唱，也没有音乐的旋律能穿透寂静——但是，当他开口说出平生第一个单词时，他就会忘掉所有的惊惧，进而沉浸在发现的喜悦之中。也只有带着这种感恩之心，我才能同我的玩具、石头、树木、飞鸟和不会说话的动物们交谈。当听到我召唤的米尔德莱德跑到我跟前，或者听到我命令的狗儿作出正确反应，我内心的喜悦就会溢于言表。对我来说，能够迅速地说出我想要表达的话而无须翻译，这的确是一种难以言说的恩赐。当我说话时，愉快的思绪就会翩然而至。当然，这很可能是我为逃脱手指的束缚而做的徒劳抗争。

But it must not be supposed that I could really talk in this short time. I had learned only the elements of speech. Miss Fuller and Miss Sullivan could understand me, but most people would not have understood one word in a hundred. Nor is it true that, after I had learned these elements, I did the rest of the work myself. But for Miss Sullivan's genius, untiring perseverance and devotion, I could not have progressed as far as I have toward natural speech. In the first place, I laboured night and day before I could be understood even by my most intimate friends; in the second place, I needed Miss Sullivan's assistance constantly in my efforts to articulate each sound clearly and to combine all sounds in a thousand ways. Even now she calls my attention every day to mispronounced words.

不过，在如此短的时间内学会讲话还是令人难以想象的。事实上，我只是掌握了讲话的要素而已。虽然富勒小姐和苏立文小姐明白我说的话，但是大部分人并不知道我在说什么，我说一百个词，他们未必能听懂一个词。这当然称不上真正的语言，就是说，在我学习了这些要素之后，其余的技能就要靠我自己去摸索了。多亏了苏立文小姐的天才之举，以及她孜孜不倦的奉献精神，否则，我是无法在学习自然讲话的过程中取得进步的。首先，要想让我最亲密的朋友们听懂我说的话，我必须要夜以继日地加强练习；其次，我需要苏立文小姐的持续帮助，就是说，让她帮我纠正每一个发音，然后再用上千种方式将所有的音节组合在一起。直到现在，她仍会在日常交流中提醒我读错的音。

All teachers of the deaf know what this means, and only they can at all appreciate the peculiar difficulties with which I had to contend. In reading my teacher's lips I was wholly dependent on my fingers: I had to use the sense of touch in catching the vibrations of the throat, the movements of the mouth and the expression of the face; and often this sense was at fault. In such cases I was forced to repeat the words or sentences, sometimes for hours, until I felt the proper ring in my own voice. My work was practice, practice, practice. Discouragement and weariness cast me down frequently; but the next moment the thought that I should soon be at home and show my loved ones what I had accomplished, spurred me on, and I eagerly looked forward to their pleasure in my achievement.

聋哑学校的所有老师都知道这意味着什么，对于我偏向虎山行的勇气，他们也表示出了赞同意见。在阅读课上，我完全依靠手指来感受老师嘴唇的动作：我用触觉感知喉咙的振动，口腔的开启和老师的面目表情。在通常情况下，触摸的方式总是出错。因此，我只能强迫自己一遍遍重复单词或句子，有时候，这种重复过程会持续好几个小时，一直到发音正确为止。我的作业就是练习，练习，再练习。气馁和厌倦的情绪时常困扰着我，但是一想到我即将回到家里，向亲人们展示我取得的进步，我的信心就会大增。我渴望与家人们共同分享我的学习成果。

"My little sister will understand me now," was a thought stronger than all obstacles. I used to repeat ecstatically, "I am not dumb now." I could not be despondent while I anticipated the delight of talking to my mother and reading her responses from her lips. It astonished me to find how much easier it is to talk than to spell with the fingers, and I discarded the manual alphabet as a medium of communication on my part; but Miss Sullivan and a few friends still use it in speaking to me, for it is more convenient and more rapid than lip-reading.

“我的小妹妹将会听懂我的话。”这个强烈的念头已经超越了任何学习上的障碍。我常常出神地重复着一句话：“我不再哑了。”可以预见，我会同母亲快乐地交谈，我可以通过摸她的嘴唇来读懂她的话，我不会再感到沮丧失望了。而且，我惊讶地发现，语言交流要比用手指拼写来得更容易。所以，我会放弃使用手语字母的交流手段。不过苏立文小姐和少数几个朋友仍然用手指拼写的方式同我讲话，因为同唇读相比，这种方式要方便快捷得多。

Just here, perhaps, I had better explain our use of the manual alphabet, which seems to puzzle people who do not know us. One who reads or talks to me spells with his hand, using the single-hand manual alphabet generally employed by the deaf. I place my hand on the hand of the speaker so lightly as not to impede its movements. The position of the hand is as easy to feel as it is to see. I do not feel each letter any more than you see each letter separately when you read. Constant practice makes the fingers very flexible, and some of my friends spell rapidly--about as fast as an expert writes on a typewriter. The mere spelling is, of course, no more a conscious act than it is in writing.

说到这里，我要好好解释一下我们使用手语字母的过程，因为这似乎令很多不了解我们的人感到困惑。如果一个人想为我阅读或者跟我讲话，那么他就会用到聋哑人使用的手拼字母法。我会把自己的手轻轻地放在讲话者的手上，我的动作会轻到不妨碍对方的任何行动。而手对位置的变化很敏感，如同长了眼睛一样。所以，当你为我“读”的时候，我并不会感到辨别字母的速度比你看的速度慢。长期的训练令手指变得异常灵活。在我的朋友们当中，有些人的拼写速度惊人——就像一个熟练使用打字机的行家里手一样快。当然，这种拼写方式只是一种不得已而为之的行为。

When I had made speech my own, I could not wait to go home. At last the happiest of happy moments arrived. I had made my homeward journey, talking constantly to Miss Sullivan, not for the sake of talking, but determined to improve to the last minute. Almost before I knew it, the train stopped at the Tuscumbia station, and there on the platform stood the whole family. My eyes fill with tears now as I think how my mother pressed me close to her, speechless and trembling with delight, taking in every syllable that I spoke, while little Mildred seized my free hand and kissed it and danced, and my father expressed his pride and affection in a big silence. It was as if Isaiah's prophecy had been fulfilled in me, "The mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands!"

当我能够开口讲话的时候，我几乎无法抑制住迫切的归家心情。终于，最快乐的时刻到来了，我踏上了返乡的旅程。一路上，我不停地和苏立文小姐说话。当然，这并不是为了单纯地说话，我决心提高我的说话水平，直到最后一刻。不知不觉间，火车已经停靠在图斯康比亚车站，全家人都站在月台上迎接我。我的眼中噙满泪水，我想到了母亲是如何把我紧紧地搂在怀里，激动得浑身颤抖不能言语，她仔细地聆听我发出的每一个音节；我想到了小妹妹米尔德莱德抓住我的手又吻又跳；我想到了父亲以长久的沉默来表达他的慈爱和自豪。我们相会的景象就像《以赛亚书》中应验的预言：“大山小山必在你们面前发声歌唱。田野的树木也都拍掌。”